TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

There is no doubt that the youngsters nowadays depend on their parents in almost of their needs. I certainly agree that the youngsters are able to make decisions about their own lives and their future today rather than in the past. Someone can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanations go as follows.
Firstly, spread of technology and the internet make the young people have an opening mind rather than the past years. For example, by comparing my situation with my little brother Seif. I'm older than Seif by about twelve years, when I was at secondary school, I dreamed to enter the Faculty of Dentistry but unfortunately I have gotten degrees lower than the degrees needed to join the Dentistry College. I remember that I was very disappointed those days and did not know what I could do. So, I resorted to my parents as they have a much experience than me and asked them what I should do?. Finally, they decided that I should apply for the Faculty of Science and that's what happened. In the contrary, my brother was exposed to my situation and my Mam and Dad tried a lot persuade him to apply for Faculty of Engineering. But, he was a good follower to social websites and the economic news and he discovered that the business is the key for better life nowadays. In order to that he decided to join the Faculty of Business Administration.
Furthermore, owing to the technology, the world become very small and connected to each other. For instance, when my father was graduated since 40 years, My grandfather have decided that my father should travel to Saudi Arabia like the majority of his generation in order to find a good job. In the earlier years the dominant believe was if you want to be a rich, you should travel to Saudi Arabia. But nowadays the world has another side, so if you want to be successful and effective, you should take care of your education and research. In order to the new concept my brother Mahmoud does not listen to my father advice and he decides to study hard and takes the Toefl exam for applying to the USA universities.
In sum, I see that the openness of the new world and the spread of communication forms affect the young people and improve their thinking.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 186, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
... situation with my little brother Seif. Im older than Seif by about twelve years, ...
^^
Line 2, column 335, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...entistry but unfortunately I have gotten degrees lower than the degrees needed to...
^^
Line 2, column 533, Rule ID: A_MUCH_NN1[1]
Message: Maybe you should omit the article "a", leaving only 'much'.
Suggestion: much
..., I resorted to my parents as they have a much experience than me and asked them what ...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 666, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...ld apply for the Faculty of Science and thats what happened. In the contrary, my brot...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, if, second, so, for example, for instance, no doubt

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1830.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 399.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58646616541 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56738263048 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52380952381 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 572.4 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8125168879 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.3157894737 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94736842105 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.095002848328 0.236089414692 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0299900925349 0.076458572812 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0263729977786 0.0737576698707 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.054020219074 0.150856017488 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0188589433952 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.