TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Children always want to have fun and play with each other or family members. Schools restricts children fun time by giving homework and exercises. The question of managing children's time in home between studying and having fun has been a topic of controversy among different parents. In my opinion, children should have fun in home and I prefer that parents should use their time to have fun with children. I have two main reasons for holding this idea which I will mention in the reminder of this essay.
The first reason coming to mind to support the idea is associated with children's interst in having fun. Children spend a lot of time in school in studying and doing their homeworks and it would be boring for children to work on their lessons on the limited time that they have to spend with their parents. Hence, they want to rest in family time and restore their energy for studying in school. They achieve this energy by having fun activity with their parents like playing games and sport. For instance, In my country, Iran, children go to some schools named "Intelligent School" and they spend a whole day in school and do their homework with teachers. Children don't have to do anything when they come home, Hence, they spend their free times with their parents. Researchers found that students of this schools are more successful than students from ordinary schools.
Family relation is the second reason advocating my idea about this topic. Families are testing different ways to have close relationship with their children. Playing with children and creating a happy enviroment in home is one of the most effective way to keep the children close to families. Because, children always want to have fun and they love places that creates entertainment for them. Let's use my own experience for supporting this idea. When I was a child, my father and I used to ride a bicycle in the jungle every Friday. This biking made me closer to my father and also the whole family.
In conclusion, I prefer the idea that parents should use their time to have fun playing games or sport with children. Because having fun with children will attract children to the family and also will restore children's energy for school's activity.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...mention in the reminder of this essay. The first reason coming to mind to suppo...
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... their homework with teachers. Children dont have to do anything when they come home...
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...nts. Researchers found that students of this schools are more successful than studen...
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...l than students from ordinary schools. Family relation is the second reason adv...
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Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...es that creates entertainment for them. Lets use my own experience for supporting th...
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...o my father and also the whole family. In conclusion, I prefer the idea that pa...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, second, so, for instance, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1856.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83333333333 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45757734668 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453125 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 556.2 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.8294842127 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.380952381 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2857142857 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.71428571429 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.357585791715 0.236089414692 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133062227983 0.076458572812 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102647359011 0.0737576698707 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.258146714644 0.150856017488 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0739039964127 0.0645574589148 114% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.