TPO 46- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe

The transition from a child to an adult is a critical period in every individual’s life. Based on the criteria of defining success and happiness, youngsters usually consider celebrities as successful role models. I personally believe that due to many reasons such as being more involved in the social media, saturated with the fun, luxurious lifestyle of famous people and the appealing vision of fame and wealth, in comparison to the older people, youngsters usually pay more attention to celebrities.

Despite older people, who have reached stability and independence to some extent, youngsters usually seek role models to achieve their ambitions of a cheerful favorable life. Many young people believe that in order to be successful they should have a guide through their journey of life. Therefore, since TV or social media only portrays the happy side of the lifestyle of famous people, such as entertainers and athletes, younger people, unconsciously, come to this believe that these people are successful and make significant contributions to the society. For instance, as I was growing up in 1990’s, Michael Jackson, the king of pop music, was an idol or hero for many young people. Many youngsters and adolescents, even in my country Iran, were trying to imitate his way of dressing, acting and particularly dancing. However, this behavior was absurd from the adult’s point of view, especially parents. A decade later, when was facing child abuse charges and many young people were still worshiping him and could not believe any of those assertions against him.

This indeed is due to the blind love and respect toward famous people in the society, which makes them supernatural heroes for their mostly young fans. This, in fact, originates from different preferences in defining an influential, important character from the youngster’s perspective in comparison to the older generations. For younger people, wealth, welfare, and fame could be decisive key factors. Back to the case of the king of pop, living in Neverland Valley, having personal airplanes and such things were a lifetime dream for many young fans and a demonstration of a happy successful life that everyone envies. Even when Michael Jackson opened up his childhood obsessions in a documentary about his life, many could not believe how devastated he was in his personal life, because this vision was not compatible with people’s view of a person having this much wealth and welfare. In fact, worshiping a famous person such as M.J was even far beyond this, that ludicrous rhombus about the immortality of this pop star began to spread among his fans. Thus, in my opinion, the way younger people define an important person is an essential factor, which makes them consider famous people as role models or even heroes.

By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above and my personal experience, I believe that younger people, in comparison to the older people, pay more attention to famous people and usually consider them as important influential people in the society and their lives.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 468, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...ger people, unconsciously, come to this believe that these people are successful and ma...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 946, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: J
...t, worshiping a famous person such as M.J was even far beyond this, that ludicrou...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, so, still, therefore, thus, for instance, in fact, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2610.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 500.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86802789387 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.49 0.524837075471 93% => OK
syllable_count: 815.4 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.1352896963 48.9658058833 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.0 100.406767564 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7777777778 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05555555556 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165149659167 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.055678586259 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0599572258262 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126816980574 0.150856017488 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0290661218585 0.0645574589148 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 86.8835125448 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.