TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

There is no doubt that the celebrities such as known artists, musicians and athletes have a greet impact into people. especially young people. In order to that I agreed with this point of view. Someone can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanations go as follow.

Firstly, many young people take famous athletes as ideal example for them. For instance, Mohamed Salah is a famous Egyptian Football player and he play at Liverpool team at the recent time. He is very successful and have a high performance and he was the cause of reaching his team to the final match at the last Champion League. Mohamed Salah always talks to the youngsters and recommend them by the importance of practice sport and the disadvantages of being a smoker or have drugs. My little brother was used to smoke and my mother and father had many difficulties in persuade him to take off smoking. But when he listen to Mohamed Salah, he began to take off smoking as Mohamed Salah is his ideal example, and began to watch all his matches and follows his performance and now he dreams to be one day like him in his success and ethics.

Furthermore, youngsters admired many artists and musicians and interesting in watching them in talk show programs talking about their daily life and their social participation. For instance, a well known artist called Amr Diab, he made a lot of action movies and the majority of youngsters in my country extremely like him. Amr Diab used to talk about the importance of helping the poor people by several ways may be by donating money or clothes to them. In addition to that, we may help the patients and donates them with medications and blood if they need. Many of youngsters affected by Amr Diab and they used to go the hospitals to meet the patients and charities.

Due to the aforementioned reasons, all folk should bear in mind that famous people have a great impact on youngsters behavior.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...wn artists, musicians and athletes have a greet impact into people. especially young pe...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 119, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Especially
...hletes have a greet impact into people. especially young people. In order to that I agreed...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 277, Rule ID: AS_FOLLOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'as follows'?
Suggestion: as follows
... cons of each side. The explanations go as follow. Firstly, many young people take fam...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'plays'.
Suggestion: plays
... famous Egyptian Football player and he play at Liverpool team at the recent time. H...
^^^^
Line 3, column 618, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'listens'.
Suggestion: listens
...de him to take off smoking. But when he listen to Mohamed Salah, he began to take off ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 720, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed Salah is his ideal example, and began to watch all his matches and follows his...
^^
Line 5, column 63, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s admired many artists and musicians and interesting in watching them in talk sho...
^^
Line 7, column 107, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'youngsters'' or 'youngster's'?
Suggestion: youngsters'; youngster's
...at famous people have a great impact on youngsters behavior.
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, so, well, for instance, in addition, no doubt, such as, talking about

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1596.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 340.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69411764706 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60566324932 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547058823529 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 487.8 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.1837981459 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.8823529412 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.58823529412 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0797200766377 0.236089414692 34% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0325455402014 0.076458572812 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0266953332921 0.0737576698707 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0569936402045 0.150856017488 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0278596142335 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.