TPO-46 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examp

As an age featuring the rapid exchange of information, people's opinion can be spread out and be heard across the world in one night. Being exposed under the spotlight, the behavior and words of celebrities are accessible on all kinds of social media and podcasts, shaping people's opinions imperceptibly. Some people argue that young people can be more easily influenced by their opinion than opder people and I am in favor of the statement from the following perspective.

To begin with, the difference over preference for information sources give rise to the different levels of being influenced by celebrities' thoughts. The olderly prefers to gain information from traditional presses such as newspapers and books, which gives fair comments about current issues considering both the positive and negative aspect, while young people access most of their information from social media and magazines, where the quality of news varies. One tends to post their persuasive thoughts without a second thought and fierece discussions are triggered based on this, exposing the young under a circumstance filled with the most popular news. The posts of celebrities, as a large component constituting the social media, are of particular interest to the young people.

Furthermore, lack of critical thinking ability to make wise decisions among young people accounts for the difference. If you ask kids what they want to in the future, they probably would reply rock stars or video game players as these are ranked as the coolest and appealing among all. On the contrary to adults, who are capable of forming their own opinions based on what they are told, children are more inclined to believe what they see due to incomprehensive knowledge. Therefore, they are more likely to believe what said by the celebrities they love, which makes their opinions more critical than ever. Over the past years, the increasing number of cases of teenage problems related to alchohol and drug abusing is a direct consequence of following and imitating the behaviors of celebrities without making their own judgement.

In conclusion, young people generally pay more attention to the opinions of celebrities due to the exposure under social media and lack of critical thinking ability. Therefore, the behavior of celebrities inflence far more than themselves and should be appropriate in the public.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, second, so, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as, on the contrary, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 43.0788530466 42% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2003.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28496042216 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81425103911 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.559366754617 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.0505866548 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.071428571 100.406767564 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0714285714 20.6045352989 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.21428571429 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173461124706 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.062533876956 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441127008343 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103049088032 0.150856017488 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0286849496131 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 58.1214874552 61% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 10.1575268817 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.01818996416 115% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.