TOEFL T P O 33 - Integrated Writing Task

After the discovery of carved stone balls in Scotland, archaeolohgists made no agreements of the balls' use. There were some speculations about the use. The first theory contends that the balls were weapons,the second one assumed the balls were used to weight or measure the quantity of the food, the third one proposed the balls were the symbols of the owners' social statue. While the lecturer disproves all of the three theories.

To begin with, the balls did not have the features of the ancient weapons. In the passage it was said some balls with holes could probably be strung with a cord thus the throwing weapon was made. However, if the balls were weapons, some of them may be cracked or at least had curves like the other weapons. There were no damages doung in these balls. So they could not be weapons.

In additon, the balls varing in materials were different in weight from each other. In the same volume, balls weight depends of the density, which determined by the materials. Even if most of them are about 70mm in diameter, their weight were different because of the varied density. Thus they could not be used to weigh other things.

Finally, they are not social statue symbols of the owners. When people died in Soctland about 4000 years ago, after the deaths, people were burried with their possessions while no balls found in the tomes or graves. Besides some of the balls were carved with intricate patterns while some of them just had simple patterns. Thus if the balls could not show the social positions of their owner.

In conclusion, none of the theories mentioned in the passage were convincing enough according to the lecturer.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 206, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ory contends that the balls were weapons,the second one assumed the balls were used ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 376, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he symbols of the owners social statue. While the lecturer disproves all of the three...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 405, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...al statue. While the lecturer disproves all of the three theories. To begin with, the b...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 48, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: different
...ton, the balls varing in materials were different in weight from each other. In the same volume, ba...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 285, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ifferent because of the varied density. Thus they could not be used to weigh other t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 225, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...s found in the tomes or graves. Besides some of the balls were carved with intricate patter...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 324, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... some of them just had simple patterns. Thus if the balls could not show the social ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, third, thus, while, at least, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 10.4613686534 182% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 12.0772626932 25% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 22.412803532 54% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 30.3222958057 152% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 5.01324503311 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1380.0 1373.03311258 101% => OK
No of words: 287.0 270.72406181 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80836236934 5.08290768461 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11595363751 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3160066708 2.5805825403 90% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 145.348785872 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512195121951 0.540411800872 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 409.5 419.366225166 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.23620309051 61% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 1.25165562914 479% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 2.5761589404 311% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 21.2450331126 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.3624974273 49.2860985944 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.6666666667 110.228320801 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9444444444 21.698381199 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.27777777778 7.06452816374 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 4.19205298013 167% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.27373068433 187% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.272083759551 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0996497079465 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0662205650399 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.162205337803 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 13.3589403974 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 53.8541721854 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 11.0289183223 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 12.2367328918 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.42419426049 94% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 63.6247240618 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.498013245 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.