TPO-42 - Integrated Writing Task Glass is a favored building material for modern architecture, yet it is also very dangerous for wild birds. Because they often cannot distinguish between glass and open air, millions of birds are harmed every year when the

the lecture says,for keeping wild birds; people should think about how they see around, to keep them safe, so when wanted to made a good place in our apartment that the humans live there, should not made of glass, it’s obviously using glass is attractive for modern architectures but it's dreadful for birds because it's reflex such as mirror and birds do not understand the differences of them and they think noting there so they fly through it.

first solution is use dark glasses because when the birds don't see the out they have never try to fly through it, but the problem is it makes a too dark place for human, and maybe they'll have some problems.

second they think to use some signals to help them in rooms to not have an accident with the facilities in the house of humans, everybody knows that birds use some signal to find their way but the problem of these solution is maybe this signals effect on them to make a wrong decision.

So the humans should think about all the sights to, make a comfortable place to live for wild birds, and it shows that, they get rely on people and feel free.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
for keeping wild birds, people should think...
^^^
Line 1, column 89, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , so
...t how they see around, to keep them safe,so when wanted to made a good place in our...
^^^
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , should
...our apartment that the humans live there,should not made of glass ,its obviously using ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 181, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'make'
Suggestion: make
...t that the humans live there,should not made of glass ,its obviously using glass is ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 194, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...mans live there,should not made of glass ,its obviously using glass is attractive ...
^^
Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...ns live there,should not made of glass ,its obviously using glass is attractive for...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...k noting there so they fly trough i. first solution is use dark glasses because wh...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...use dark glasses because when the birds dont see the out they have never try to fly ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 92, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'tried'.
Suggestion: tried
... birds dont see the out they have never try to fly trough it, but the problem is it...
^^^
Line 3, column 180, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they'll
...s a too dark place for human, and maybe theyll have some problems. second they thin...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...and maybe theyll have some problems. second they think to use some signals to help ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 127, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , everybody
...th the facilities in the house of humans,everybody knows that birds use some signal to fin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this solution' or 'these solutions'?
Suggestion: this solution; these solutions
...al to find their way but the problem of these solution is maybe this signals effect on them to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.4613686534 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 12.0772626932 33% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 22.412803532 94% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 30.3222958057 66% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 755.0 1373.03311258 55% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 167.0 270.72406181 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.52095808383 5.08290768461 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.59483629437 4.04702891845 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34664844773 2.5805825403 91% => OK
Unique words: 101.0 145.348785872 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.604790419162 0.540411800872 112% => OK
syllable_count: 226.8 419.366225166 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.23620309051 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 3.0 13.0662251656 23% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 55.0 21.2450331126 259% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.6747208279 49.2860985944 182% => OK
Chars per sentence: 251.666666667 110.228320801 228% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 55.6666666667 21.698381199 257% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 13.3333333333 7.06452816374 189% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 4.19205298013 310% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 4.33554083885 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.27373068433 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294324451037 0.272083759551 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.201871983962 0.0996497079465 203% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054793563274 0.0662205650399 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201871983962 0.162205337803 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.054793563274 0.0443174109184 124% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 27.7 13.3589403974 207% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 32.57 53.8541721854 60% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 22.4 11.0289183223 203% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 9.82 12.2367328918 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.42419426049 105% => OK
difficult_words: 26.0 63.6247240618 41% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 26.5 10.7273730684 247% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 24.0 10.498013245 229% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.