TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

Both the reading and lecture discuss whether storing patient’s medical records in electric forms or in paper form. The reading implies that three advantages of using an electric record. Yet, the professor highly disputes the theories. Accordingly, she presents three refutations.

First of all, the reading reveals that the cost of electric records is lower than paper form records. However, the speaker strongly calls them into question by arguing that it won’t likely save more money. Moreover, she mentions that most of the doctors are still use paper record for backup. Hence, doctors still have to pay for storage on paper records, and cannot save more money.

In the second place, the article suggests that using electric records would able to prevent errors. On the contrary, the scholar severely opposes the hypothesis by stating that most of the doctor take notes on the paper when they first making an examination of their patients. In addition, after the examination, the record would be documented into the computer by other people. As a result, other people who tap the record into the computer might not fully understand the record since some doctor’s writing is difficult to understand and lead to some errors.

All in all, the reading passage indicates that the electric records would benefit to the research. Once again, the professor disagrees with the hypothesis.
Apparently, she contends that it still difficult to use these records because the US law is very strict. Also, the research from electric records have to go on a complex procedure, and when people wish to collect data from medical records in hospitals, they have to follow severe procedure and gain permission from patients.
Consequently, the hypothesis is not convincing.

To sum up, the professor challenges each of the theory in the reading passage. Namely, there are some disadvantages on electric records such as cost, error, and still hard to use for research.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'used'.
Suggestion: used
...uing that most of the doctors are still use handwriting when they evaluate patients...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, moreover, second, so, still, therefore, thus, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.4613686534 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 22.412803532 71% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 30.3222958057 66% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1115.0 1373.03311258 81% => OK
No of words: 212.0 270.72406181 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25943396226 5.08290768461 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.81578560438 4.04702891845 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61510982462 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 134.0 145.348785872 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.632075471698 0.540411800872 117% => OK
syllable_count: 335.7 419.366225166 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 21.2450331126 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.0785155125 49.2860985944 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.6428571429 110.228320801 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1428571429 21.698381199 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 7.06452816374 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 4.45695364238 179% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.352112568508 0.272083759551 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0880645890224 0.0996497079465 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0861398319669 0.0662205650399 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175250013927 0.162205337803 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0260377687696 0.0443174109184 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.3589403974 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 53.8541721854 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.0289183223 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.2367328918 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.52 8.42419426049 113% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 63.6247240618 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.7273730684 47% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.498013245 76% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.