TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The passage is mainly about the importance or advantages of electronic database for medical treatment rather than paper base but speaker has contradicted many points which is inaccurate as compared to lecture.

First,the reading passage states that electronic data base helps to reduce cost while paper base treatment requires lots of money.It will be easy to access records and it can be easily transfer.But speaker contradicts the point by saying that doctor keeps electronic record for long time for legal reasons which may require to pay as a storage cost and it does not save any money.

Second,writer has mentioned that it will prevent the error in the record because if it is make record by human it may brings lots of errors in the handwriting but as per the lecture doctors also use paper and pen for writing prescription and they don't make mistake.It is another part where we can experience contradicted theory.

Third,writer shows that it is impossible to keep all the papers of many patients in his own home and it will be easy to keep electronic record which would be simple to draw out information and helps in research but speakers argue that more patients wants to keep their medical records in private manner and researchers cannot do research without the permission on patient it is also the part where contradicted theory exist.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 6, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ccurate as compared to lecture. First,the reading passage states that electronic ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 131, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...r base treatment requires lots of money.It will be easy to access records and it c...
^^
Line 3, column 195, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...s records and it can be easily transfer.But speaker contradicts the point by saying...
^^^
Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'paying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: paying
...ime for legal reasons which may require to pay as a storage cost and it does not save ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , writer
...nd it does not save any money. Second,writer has mentioned that it will prevent the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 248, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...d pen for writing prescription and they dont make mistake.It is another part where w...
^^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...prescription and they dont make mistake.It is another part where we can experience...
^^
Line 7, column 6, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , writer
...experience contradicted theory. Third,writer shows that it is impossible to keep all...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, third, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 10.4613686534 96% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 22.412803532 85% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 30.3222958057 76% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1130.0 1373.03311258 82% => OK
No of words: 227.0 270.72406181 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97797356828 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 4.04702891845 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7039918869 2.5805825403 105% => OK
Unique words: 134.0 145.348785872 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.590308370044 0.540411800872 109% => OK
syllable_count: 349.2 419.366225166 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.23620309051 24% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 2.5761589404 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 13.0662251656 31% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 56.0 21.2450331126 264% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.4219341971 49.2860985944 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 282.5 110.228320801 256% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 56.75 21.698381199 262% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 12.75 7.06452816374 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 4.19205298013 191% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 4.33554083885 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.27373068433 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.437536441754 0.272083759551 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.248720618006 0.0996497079465 250% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.05529967715 0.0662205650399 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.248720618006 0.162205337803 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.05529967715 0.0443174109184 125% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.4 13.3589403974 228% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 23.1 53.8541721854 43% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 5.55761589404 234% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 24.0 11.0289183223 218% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.2367328918 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.03 8.42419426049 119% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 63.6247240618 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.7273730684 177% => OK
gunning_fog: 24.4 10.498013245 232% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.