TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

Both the reading passage and the professor talks about the data keeping of medical report of the patients. The author of the passage states that electronic data keeping has several advantages than traditional paper based and provide the three supporting reasons. However, the professor in the lecture explains that it is uncertain about the advantages of electronic data base and refutes all the claim given by passage by providing three claims.

First of all, the author claims that in the application of electronic data base in keeping the medical report of the patients always helps to reduce the cost. He further mention that, paper record require significant amount of space to keep record, it is time consuming and difficult to access. Paper base require more space to keep record. ON the other hand, electronic data base does not require much space. And the professor refutes this statement by saying that it is not cost saving approach because every time the doctor who is using electronic data base have to use paper to note down the patient information. Paper is mandatory for legal issues like taking the signature of the patients and keeping the record of the patient information.

Secondly, The author explain that keeping record in electronic device helps to prevent error. While in the paper base there may be certain error while taking the note and sometimes doctors handwriting are so difficult to understand. The professor rebuts the statement by explaining that every time doctors keep records in paper and after a certain time period only they enter the data in electronic device.

Third, The author says that keeping the medical report on electronic data base always helps to do further research in this field. Researches can get easily the large number of data in their research. ON the other hand, the professor totally disagree with this statement, he said that it is not easy to take the medical data to use for research. Data are always confidential and no one can get information with out the patient approval. Taking data for the research has very strict law in America. There are so many procedures to take the data of the patient. Moreover, patient can block their information of medical record if the data has record in data base.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 380, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e advantages of electronic data base and refutes all the claim given by passage b...
^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'mentions'.
Suggestion: mentions
...ys helps to reduce the cost. He further mention that, paper record require significant ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 561, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...doctor who is using electronic data base have to use paper to note down the patie...
^^
Line 7, column 406, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...idential and no one can get information with out the patient approval. Taking data for t...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, while, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 10.4613686534 96% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 5.04856512141 79% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 22.412803532 94% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 30.3222958057 168% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 5.01324503311 180% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1891.0 1373.03311258 138% => OK
No of words: 380.0 270.72406181 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97631578947 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.04702891845 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48566388129 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436842105263 0.540411800872 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 606.6 419.366225166 145% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 13.0662251656 145% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9830377388 49.2860985944 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.5263157895 110.228320801 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 21.698381199 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.63157894737 7.06452816374 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 4.33554083885 208% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.457027637272 0.272083759551 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.163945831455 0.0996497079465 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0826176142799 0.0662205650399 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.287380921626 0.162205337803 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100504418132 0.0443174109184 227% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 13.3589403974 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 53.8541721854 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.0289183223 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.2367328918 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.42419426049 90% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 63.6247240618 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.7273730684 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.