Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I agree with the statement that Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. I have a number of reasons to support my answer.
First, studying in a good university/college especially in USA is very expensive. Middle class people cannot afford the university tuition fee and other expenses yet they want their child to study in a reputed university. Taking student loans is the best way to pay the tuition amount in installments without getting burdened. As an international student I applied in California university and their tuition fees is so high that it became very difficult for me to pay my tuition fee without taking a bank loan.
Secondly, banks are offering easy way to return loan money after completing your studies. In this way, students can concentrate more on their studies and after successfully completing their studies they can get a good job and pay the loan amount. Students do not have to do job and waste their precious time. I remember I had a friend who went abroad to study law but couldn’t complete his law because he had to go for job during his study hours and that is why he could not score well in his exams.
To sum up I would agree on this statement that students should take out student loans in order to avoid working while studying as their will be less burden on parents as well as students.
Sentence: Studying in a good university/college especially USA is not only expensive but difficult too.
Description: The fragment college especially USA is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement: especially in USA is
Sentence: First, Middle class people who cannot afford the university tuition fee and other expenses and they want there child to study in a reputed university, student loans are the best way that they can get admission and pay the tuition amount in installment.
Description: The fragment child to study is not usually preceded by there
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with their
Sentence: In this way student can concentrate more on there studies and after successfully completing there studies they can get a good job and pay the loan amount.
Description: The fragment on there studies is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with their
Description: The fragment completing there studies is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with their
Sentence: To sum up I would agree on this statement that students should take out student loans in order to avoid working while studying as their will be less burden on parents as well as students.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to their and will
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.198 7.5
Read a good grammar book.
better to support only one side.
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 335 350
No. of Characters: 1462 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.278 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.401 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.198 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5