TOPIC# 28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.

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TOPIC# 28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.

The media provides us with entertainment and information. However, it overpasses the borders, sometimes. I believe newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the private lives of renowned people, and I strongly oppose it because in some cases it is intrusive, trifling information does no goods to the readership or audience, and this useless information impacts young people’s minds.

First, it invades the privacy of prominent people by reporting every minor or major details of their personal lives and relationships. Everybody has a personal territory that should be respected by others, otherwise it would be the invasion of privacy, which nowadays many newspapers, magazines, and so forth are accused of it. In particular, when it comes to the celebrities, it is much more controversial since it greatly affects their professional career, and their popularity among their fans. For example, these days, a pop star rarely can go out with her family without being photographed by hordes of paparazzi of the press.

On the other hand, knowing about others’ private lives makes no difference to our lives. In other words, what is the point of knowing that one star just broke up with her boyfriend, or she had an argument with her housekeeper? Although the mass media tries to increase or maintain its followers by making the popular individual’s private matters its headlines, not any information is useful for the readers or audience.

Third, this worthless information overwhelms youngsters, and might influence them badly. Juveniles are fanatical about celebrities, and, sometimes, they think of them as role models since their lifestyles sound very ideal to them. However, real life is so different that makes it inconceivable for teenagers to imitate celebrities’ fashion and lifestyle. For instance, just a few people can spend exorbitant amount of money on beauty surgeries, priceless jewelries, and clothing. So, being preoccupied with every minutiae of stars would bring nothing but depression and low self-esteem to teenagers.

Overall, I believe the mass media at times abuse the term of freedom by disturbing the celebrities’ privacy, overloading people’s minds with unnecessary news, and influencing teenagers badly.

Votes
Average: 9.8 (6 votes)
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Comments

The media provides us with entertainment and information.
The media provide us with entertainment and information.

flaws:
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'. You may use 'In addition'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1847 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.262 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.888 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.865 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5