The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
The editorial which appeared in business magazine assert that sales of whirlwind video games will gain the boom in market like it used to have in early times. It is making an assumption here that sales will increase in the market with the launch of some new game.But argument has not considered many factors which resulted in many flaws of the argument and does not provide any certain evidence which satisfies the assumption.
Firstly,in the passage there is no highlights of the new features which is being introduced in new set of video games which will be in market. As the survey states that players preferred lifelike graphics and there is no mentioning of the same features in the new product.
Secondly, there is no statistical data of the survey about their age or area or how many people participated in the survey.We can not imply from the survey that players only want lifelike graphics. There would be other features which may not be present in the new product like high speed graphics, resolution, 3D games etc. which was not covered in the survey. Passage could not link the assumption with the survey.Information provided in the survey is vague.
Thirdly, Company did not consider the other video games based company which may have already captured the market and this introduction of the new idea requires more rigorous effort. Features which are there in game,could also be in existing games and thus it does not help in increasing the sales.
Fourthly, Advertisement does help is promoting the product but what if people(10-25 AGE GROUP) of the town/city does not trust much on advertisement and rather believe in practical usage. There can be chance that people of age group other then 10-25 are more interest in idea of gaming and as the campaign is not focusing these group they may leave it unnoticed.
If company is focusing on sales then it should consider other area like marketing, reduction in price of the games,Introduction of other season sale offer which will attract customers and also some scheme which is not yet given by their rivals.
Hence,Assumption are not viable and new proposal of game will not change the market or sales of the company.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 264, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...market with the launch of some new game.But argument has not considered many factor...
^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
...ich satisfies the assumption. Firstly,in the passage there is no highlights of t...
^^^
Line 3, column 24, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are no highlights'?
Suggestion: there are no highlights
...e assumption. Firstly,in the passage there is no highlights of the new features which is being intr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 124, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: We
... many people participated in the survey.We can not imply from the survey that play...
^^
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Information
...not link the assumption with the survey.Information provided in the survey is vague. Thi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 215, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , could
...effort. Features which are there in game,could also be in existing games and thus it d...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 35, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'be'?
Suggestion: be
...s. Fourthly, Advertisement does help is promoting the product but what if peopl...
^^
Line 9, column 234, Rule ID: OTHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'other than'?
Suggestion: other than
... can be chance that people of age group other then 10-25 are more interest in idea of gami...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 240, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...e chance that people of age group other then 10-25 are more interest in idea of gami...
^^^^
Line 11, column 115, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Introduction
...rketing, reduction in price of the games,Introduction of other season sale offer which will a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 6, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Assumption
...is not yet given by their rivals. Hence,Assumption are not viable and new proposal of game...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'hence', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'third', 'thirdly', 'thus']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.261194029851 0.25644967241 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.1592039801 0.15541462614 102% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0746268656716 0.0836205057962 89% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0746268656716 0.0520304965353 143% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0199004975124 0.0272364105082 73% => OK
Prepositions: 0.134328358209 0.125424944231 107% => OK
Participles: 0.0323383084577 0.0416121511921 78% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.70069833154 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.00248756218905 0.026700313972 9% => Some infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0945273631841 0.113004496875 84% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0348258706468 0.0255425247493 136% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0323383084577 0.0127820249294 253% => Maybe 'Which' is overused. If other WH_determiners like 'Who, What, Whom, Whose...' are used too in sentences, then there are no issues.
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2192.0 2731.13054187 80% => OK
No of words: 371.0 446.07635468 83% => OK
Chars per words: 5.90835579515 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.57801047555 96% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.309973045822 0.378187486979 82% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.237196765499 0.287650121315 82% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.180592991914 0.208842608468 86% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0970350404313 0.135150697306 72% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70069833154 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 207.018472906 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487870619946 0.469332199767 104% => OK
Word variations: 51.6702316178 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 20.039408867 70% => OK
Sentence length: 26.5 23.2022227129 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.9873754733 57.7814097925 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.571428571 141.986410481 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5 23.2022227129 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.0 0.724660767414 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.14285714286 136% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 3.58251231527 307% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 50.2196765499 51.9672348444 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.6862745098 1.8405768891 92% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.497627420775 0.441005458295 113% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.18913194511 0.135418324435 140% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0855844619673 0.0829849096947 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.759630553875 0.58762219726 129% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.134300766737 0.147661913831 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.25682996002 0.193483328276 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0855457294614 0.0970749176394 88% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.355546111427 0.42659136922 83% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.123283477209 0.0774707102158 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.304264474274 0.312017818177 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100197314546 0.0698173142475 144% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.33743842365 48% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 12.0 14.657635468 82% => OK
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.