The following appeared in an email written by the head of market research division to the president of a major candy company:
“In the last four years the gross sales in the candy market have remained static, but ice cream, another confectionary
product, has experienced huge increases in gross sales. Specifically, the growth of boutique ice cream brands specializing in unusual savory ice cream flavors such as pink peppercorn, basil, and ginger, has exploded. In response, we have tested
some savory flavored candy chews at a number of national gourmet food fairs. The response to our free samples has been
extremely enthusiastic. Therefore we should jump to the forefront of this trend and launch our savory candy chews
nationally at all retail outlets.”
The conclusion drawn up by the author is based on a number of arguments that are unsubstantial and little information is considered. A number of questions need to be answered to determine whether the suggestion would indeed provide the results it predicts.
Firstly, the premise of ice cream products experiencing huge increase in gross sales need to analyzed further. Has the increase been consistent throughtout the four years?Ice cream product sales are bound to increase during summer rather than winter. Was this seasonal demand responsible for the increase in sales? Is the sale in candy market comparable to that of ice cream? It is also possible that even after the huge increase in ice cream, the candy market sale maintains the lead. It is also mentioned that growth of unusual savory flavoured ice creams have exploded. It is a common habit of humans to immerse themselves in new things. Has this been the only factor for the hike in sales? The author disregards such questions while reaching the conclusion.
Secondly, the enthusiastic response to the free samples provided at national gourmet food fairs was the basis on which the author jumps to the recommendation. However, free samples of most products are received with enthusiasm. Hence, can the response received be trusted. Again, the possibility that the response was positive due to the release of a new flavor in candy chews is present. Furthermore, the people attending the national food fair need not represent the entire population of the country. Therefore, reaching this conclusion with this unsatisfactory evidence is not justifiable.
Thirdly, the author recommends that the savoury candy chews need to be launched nationally in all retail outlets. However, this recommendation is too reckless and relies on the response received from few national food fairs. A number of questions need to be answered before relying completely on this premise. Has the sample been included in national fairs located at all regions of retail outlets? It is possible that the success of the sampled candies are restricted to only certain regions. Also, can this success in sale be consistent on a longer run? It is possible that the sales might diminish once the freshness of the idea is gone. Such alternate scenarios need to examined carefully by the author.
To conclude, the author arrives at the conclusion hurriedly without considering all possible scenarios and the line of reasoning is flawed. To strengthen the arguments, the author needs to consider additional facts and access current situations in detail. Only then, can a justifiable conclusion be drawn up.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 172, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Ice
...n consistent throughtout the four years?Ice cream product sales are bound to increa...
^^^
Line 3, column 574, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ory flavoured ice creams have exploded. It is a common habit of humans to immerse ...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'firstly', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'third', 'thirdly', 'thus', 'while']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.249466950959 0.25644967241 97% => OK
Verbs: 0.179104477612 0.15541462614 115% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0980810234542 0.0836205057962 117% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0554371002132 0.0520304965353 107% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0149253731343 0.0272364105082 55% => OK
Prepositions: 0.115138592751 0.125424944231 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0597014925373 0.0416121511921 143% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.84845274579 2.79052419416 102% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0341151385928 0.026700313972 128% => OK
Particles: 0.00426439232409 0.001811407834 235% => OK
Determiners: 0.132196162047 0.113004496875 117% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0106609808102 0.0255425247493 42% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00426439232409 0.0127820249294 33% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2646.0 2731.13054187 97% => OK
No of words: 425.0 446.07635468 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.22588235294 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.57801047555 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.414117647059 0.378187486979 110% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.32 0.287650121315 111% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.254117647059 0.208842608468 122% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.138823529412 0.135150697306 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84845274579 2.79052419416 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 207.018472906 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496470588235 0.469332199767 106% => OK
Word variations: 55.2789794401 52.1807786196 106% => OK
How many sentences: 28.0 20.039408867 140% => OK
Sentence length: 15.1785714286 23.2022227129 65% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.822668922 57.7814097925 52% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.5 141.986410481 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1785714286 23.2022227129 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.571428571429 0.724660767414 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 47.1785714286 51.9672348444 91% => OK
Elegance: 1.70085470085 1.8405768891 92% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.553260580069 0.441005458295 125% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.115780887077 0.135418324435 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.10192204501 0.0829849096947 123% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.492483228243 0.58762219726 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.170664183235 0.147661913831 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.216087201118 0.193483328276 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125468188196 0.0970749176394 129% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.461677413339 0.42659136922 108% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0781478237683 0.0774707102158 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.393347214534 0.312017818177 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0883943247169 0.0698173142475 127% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.33743842365 204% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.87684729064 58% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 15.0 6.46551724138 232% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 14.657635468 157% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.