The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper."Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.

"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The letter alleges that since the defects caused by doing sporting under nine outweighs the advantages, the player under nine should put the activity in the end. I find this allegation remains dubious as this letter doesn't have sufficient reasons. It's wrongly to draw the conclusion so hastily.

First, the latter mentions that the increasing number of children who are under nine is ascending the number of injure as well, and even over 40000 young players get injures. The allegation doesn't render the previous data about the number of injure cases. Hence, we cannot make sure that if the injure case is increasing. Maybe the number is as same as the preview data, while it cannot tell that the case is more considerable.

Second, according to the survey, the youth-league soccer player said that they are under the pressure from coaches and parents to have the competition. However, the information doesn't take the consequence of the survey into account. We don't know if the players like to have the game? Maybe they will have good experience after have the competition. Then, the pressure is not a negative effect for young player. In generally, having a competition will under heavy pressure, while they will have a nice experience as well. The interview doesn't tell of the player like the game or not.

Third, the education experts mention that the occupied time on the center interfere the academic activities. However, the letter doesn't mention which education expert accuses? Moreover, the place is equally used for every. Why it is more important for academic activities? Does it imply that the people who under nine don't have the right to use the place? Even if the place is so critical for academic activities, the long practice maybe is not so long as they define. Moreover, how can the player under nine practice so long that take away time that is used for academic activities?

In a nut shell, only by providing consolidated reasons can valid this letter. The letter should be addressed in different aspects to confirm the idea.

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Average: 4 (1 vote)
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Comments

flaws:
argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not OK

argument 3 -- not OK

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Suggested arguments:

argument 1:
No evidence to prove those 40,000 players are under 9, or the number 40,000 is over to the previous years.

argument 2:
Psychological pressure is mainly from several major cities, no reports from Parkville city.

argument 3:
No evidence to prove that 1.those who don't take part in sports will have more academic activities. 2. those who take part in sports will have bad academic performance.

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Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 352 350
No. of Characters: 1657 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.331 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.707 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.438 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.923 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5