The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
After conducting research on suitable building sites for a new hobby shop, New Ventures Consulting suggests HobCo to choose soutneastern Grilldon as the site for their next hobby shop. From the report of the research, it seems at first glance that it is profitable for HobCo to follow the suggestion. However, several questions about the evidence provided by the research need to be answered before HobCo makes its final decision.
The research has found there was no hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. But it did not provide a clear description of the area of southeastern Grilldon. Perhaps the southeastern part of Grilldon was too small for business to develop. It could be in badly maintained situation that has poor infrastructure and facilities, which was unsuitable for neither residence nor business development. Besides southeastern part, there may be hobby shops in other parts of Grilldon. Thus, the consulting firm should state clearly about the whole picture of Grilldon rather than focusing on southeastern part only.
The research indicates that the hobby business in Grilldon has increased by 300 percent during the past decade, without pointing out clearly what business it is talking about. It may be talking about the total amount of hobby shops in Grilldon, the amount of employees who work in hobby business, and the amount of investment in Grilldon. Even if the amount of shops in Grilldon increases from one shop to four shops, it can generate an increase of 300 percent as a increase from 100 shops to 400 shops. It is ambiguous what is the business discussed in the report and what relations does it have on recommending HobCo to open a new shop in Grilldon. If there has been enough shop that making the hobby business saturated, then there is no point for HobCo to enter the market.
The consulting firm supports its suggestions with the result of a poll which found 88% of area residents who responded welcomed the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. But the poll did not indicate the total amount of people that responded to the poll. If there were only 100 people responded, out of which 88 welcomed the new shop, there was an 88% supporting rate. What matters is the total sample size of the poll, and the proportion of the sample size in the total residents living in the area. The consulting firm should report clearly how much did the people taking the poll make up for the total area residents.
It is good for Grilldon to have many retirees that may have ample time to devote to hobbies. But what remains unclear is whether the retirees in Grilldon accepts the form of a hobby shop. The retirees may have already had developed their own person hobbies and there was no need for time to spend extra money in a hobby shop. In addition, the consulting firm suggests that the new shop open in southeastern part of Grilldon without indicating the demographic data of this part. The large amount of retirees in Grilldon may live in other parts of the city and may find it time consuming to go to a hobby shop located in southeastern part.
From above, the research is not cogent enough to support the suggestion that HobCo should open a new hobby shop in southeastern part of Grilldon. More information on the southeastern part of Grilldon and Grilldon city as a whole should be provided for the decision making.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 465, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... generate an increase of 300 percent as a increase from 100 shops to 400 shops. I...
^
Discourse Markers used:
['besides', 'but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'as to', 'in addition', 'talking about']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.273311897106 0.25644967241 107% => OK
Verbs: 0.149517684887 0.15541462614 96% => OK
Adjectives: 0.08038585209 0.0836205057962 96% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0289389067524 0.0520304965353 56% => OK
Pronouns: 0.024115755627 0.0272364105082 89% => OK
Prepositions: 0.149517684887 0.125424944231 119% => OK
Participles: 0.0418006430868 0.0416121511921 100% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.6521244246 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0257234726688 0.026700313972 96% => OK
Particles: 0.0032154340836 0.001811407834 178% => OK
Determiners: 0.110932475884 0.113004496875 98% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0192926045016 0.0255425247493 76% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0225080385852 0.0127820249294 176% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3369.0 2731.13054187 123% => OK
No of words: 578.0 446.07635468 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.82871972318 6.12365571057 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90322654589 4.57801047555 107% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.307958477509 0.378187486979 81% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.243944636678 0.287650121315 85% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195501730104 0.208842608468 94% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112456747405 0.135150697306 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6521244246 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 207.018472906 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.399653979239 0.469332199767 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 47.2057874111 52.1807786196 90% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.039408867 130% => OK
Sentence length: 22.2307692308 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.1395650127 57.7814097925 57% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.576923077 141.986410481 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2307692308 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.461538461538 0.724660767414 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 46.6252328986 51.9672348444 90% => OK
Elegance: 2.29365079365 1.8405768891 125% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.571628464815 0.441005458295 130% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.141663935445 0.135418324435 105% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0757474130538 0.0829849096947 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.601623464088 0.58762219726 102% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.113882696898 0.147661913831 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.244452888133 0.193483328276 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0880913744752 0.0970749176394 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.426871299862 0.42659136922 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0701644662264 0.0774707102158 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.409513374082 0.312017818177 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0458513497137 0.0698173142475 66% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.82512315271 207% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 5.36822660099 75% => OK
Neutral topic words: 9.0 2.82389162562 319% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 14.657635468 130% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.