The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The above argument presents a memo from a company named New ventures consulting to the president of Hobco, Inc with a recommendation for them to open a franchise in the southeastern region of grilldon. The argument comprises details regarding the feasibility of opening a shop in the southeastern area of grilldon. The argument concludes by giving out the prediction to Hobco hobby shop about the prospects of opening a new shop. However, these evidences are not convincing as there are a lot of questions which need to be answered.
Firstly, the argument relies on the reports conducted by the the researchers of New Ventures consulting whose reach and credibility is unknown. For instance, a micro survey done for a city cannot depict the whole scenario of the country. Moreover, even if their research was on point, their statistics show that 88 percent of people are welcoming the
idea of a hobby shop opening and hence that is being provided as an evidence to support the conclusion. But, the resident’s word of mouth cannot be taken at face value as
some people might be pleasing the person asking this question which is giving out deluded results. The argument further goes on to state that as the hobby business in the region grew by a whopping 300 percent in the last decade, this venture is also bound to succeed which clearly is an analogical assumption as there cannot be a standard way of determining a success based on other companies of the same industry.
The argument further states that there are ample number of retirees who would whole-heartedly devote their time to hobbies and that it is an indicator for successful venture.
The big gap over here is assuming that retired people have no better thing to do except for going to Hobco. Hobby shops and spending their time which is a narrow minded approach towards looking at the viability of a new shop as they might be having varied interests and not everybody would be comfortable just because they have ample time.
The data presented in the argument lacks depth of detail that would help evaluate us the significance of the recommendation. How many people were surveyed? What was
the margin of error in the study conducted? Do people actually take the surveys seriously? Can an analogy be used for a company XYZ just because a certain company ABC
was successful in the same industry? Such questions are likely to give us a clear picture of the recommendation that drew a broad conclusion based on questionable evidences.
Thus, the author of the argument has failed to give a holistic view of the whole picture and hence renders the argument over simplistic and unconvincing. Had the author provided substantial information regarding the questions asked, then the reader would have got a clearer idea of the probability of a venture’s success. Finally, the researchers could have strengthened their case be dismissing the alternative explanation presented for the data thus far.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 56, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent presents a memo from a company named New ventures consulting to the president...
^^
Line 1, column 317, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...p in the southeastern area of grilldon. The argument concludes by giving out the pr...
^^^
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ment relies on the reports conducted by the the researchers of New Ventures consulting ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ment relies on the reports conducted by the the researchers of New Ventures consulting ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 351, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t 88 percent of people are welcoming the idea of a hobby shop opening and hence t...
^^^
Line 5, column 19, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ken at face value as some people might be pleasing the person asking this question which i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n to state that as the hobby business in the region grew by a whopping 300 percen...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s an indicator for successful venture. The big gap over here is assuming that reti...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, except for, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2487.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 497.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00402414487 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89342592336 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519114688129 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 784.8 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.471057884232 425% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.8247594142 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.428571429 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 10.0 5.15768463074 194% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193279440727 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0562147403291 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0695884525704 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0724012104609 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0742915912548 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.