The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores"
The owner of Movies Galore states that the only option available to reverse the declining profits is to reduce the operating expenses. However, the reasoning behind this suggestion is not strong enough and does not guarantee a significant increase in profits. The arguments pointed out by the owner has numerous loopholes that needs to addressed.
First, a recent decline in profits was mentioned in the memorandum. Additional information regarding this decline is required to analyze the situation properly. The profit decline could have been temporary or it could have been consistent for the past six months. Also, this decline could have been small enough for the business to still survive without taking any measures. A reduction in profit does not necessarily imply that the business was running at loss. For a temporary and minute decline in profits, taking an action as strong as this would be meaningless.
Secondly, the author mentions that the operating expenses of the store in Marston was decreased by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than at 9:00 P.M.. Thought the operating expenses would have reduced this way, it could have caused a reduction in customers. A lot many of the customers could have been of the working class who visits the store after 6:00 P.M. or customer who prefer watching movies at night. The author also points out that the store has a reputation for offering great movies at low prices. However, his suggestion of eliminating movies older than five years would probably put the store out of business. It could be entirely possible that the store was famous for the classic movies it provided. The huge profit could have been because the store provided most older movies that its competitors couldn't provide. This suggestion would increase profits at the cost of the store's reputation.
Thirdly, the owner suggests that similar changes must be implemented in other stores for increasing profits. The author fails to provide evidence that a decrease in operating expenses has provided a profit greater than the current profit in Marston. Additionally, even if a significant increase in profit was noted in Marston, it is not necessary the same result would be observed in the other nine stores. The other stores could be located at rural areas, or they could have their competitor's next door. Following the same method in every other store without considering outside factors would lead to steeper decline in profits.
To sum it all,implementing the suggestion provided by the owner cannot prove to be fruitful without considering additional information regarding the profit charts, the customer databases and store locations. A re-analysis of the current situation is necessary before taking such drastic measures.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...ing at 6:00 P.M. rather than at 9:00 P.M.. Thought the operating expenses would ha...
^^
Line 5, column 770, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Use only 'older' (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: older
...ld have been because the store provided most older movies that its competitors couldnt pro...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 809, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... most older movies that its competitors couldnt provide. This suggestion would increase...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 884, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...uld increase profits at the cost of the stores reputation. Thirdly, the owner sugge...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , implementing
...per decline in profits. To sum it all,implementing the suggestion provided by the owner ca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'still', 'third', 'thirdly']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.239085239085 0.25644967241 93% => OK
Verbs: 0.180873180873 0.15541462614 116% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0914760914761 0.0836205057962 109% => OK
Adverbs: 0.049896049896 0.0520304965353 96% => OK
Pronouns: 0.02079002079 0.0272364105082 76% => OK
Prepositions: 0.12474012474 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0686070686071 0.0416121511921 165% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.68374033359 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.018711018711 0.026700313972 70% => OK
Particles: 0.004158004158 0.001811407834 230% => OK
Determiners: 0.128898128898 0.113004496875 114% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.035343035343 0.0255425247493 138% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00623700623701 0.0127820249294 49% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2756.0 2731.13054187 101% => OK
No of words: 443.0 446.07635468 99% => OK
Chars per words: 6.22121896163 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.415349887133 0.378187486979 110% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.309255079007 0.287650121315 108% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.218961625282 0.208842608468 105% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.13769751693 0.135150697306 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68374033359 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 207.018472906 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465011286682 0.469332199767 99% => OK
Word variations: 51.4807544094 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 24.0 20.039408867 120% => OK
Sentence length: 18.4583333333 23.2022227129 80% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.9914050188 57.7814097925 52% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.833333333 141.986410481 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4583333333 23.2022227129 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.458333333333 0.724660767414 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 49.383841234 51.9672348444 95% => OK
Elegance: 1.71900826446 1.8405768891 93% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.395135591205 0.441005458295 90% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.102370286518 0.135418324435 76% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0735878887953 0.0829849096947 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.547041710062 0.58762219726 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.114901975831 0.147661913831 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.161020348496 0.193483328276 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0739901971264 0.0970749176394 76% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.355992769758 0.42659136922 83% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0545329483628 0.0774707102158 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.26874318583 0.312017818177 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0582763708491 0.0698173142475 83% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.33743842365 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.82512315271 187% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 13.0 6.46551724138 201% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 7.0 2.82389162562 248% => OK
Total topic words: 22.0 14.657635468 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.