The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the following memorandum by the Owner of Movie Galore, he tries to explain the new policy that will help the firm to get an unwanted development in their field of operation which is video retail business or more specifically a chain video rental stores. In the owner’s memo, there are more than a few unclear assumptions which should be cleared in order to make the letter more productive and a good business memo. Business language should be clearer. This memo is an example of unclear business memo and communication. Here are essential points that the author of the memo should improve and essential questions the author should answer.
First, it is unclear how much the changes in the franchise the owner refers were productive. The owner says only that costs were “significantly decreased” in operations. But in business, there is much call for a quantitative information. And surely, the other franchise managers/owners could be helped with a more specific information about how much is “significant” really is. An improved version would include specific numbers and also the explanation of motivations to shut the operation in the given hours particularly instead of other hours.
Further, there is an assumption that changes in one franchise are automatically transferable to another one. This is many a time not the case at all. Every store has its own mechanics of operations and its own particularities which the people who are in charge of it must operate and manage. It is not clear what the owner meant by “similar” changes which referred in the passage. Does the author means same hours of store operation or does the author means cutting the stock of old movies or both? And yet it is also unclear if such changes will be productive in any other store because each store has it’s own story and there is not enough information about how and why such changes like in the first store should work out well in all the other ones.
Finally, there is an issue of business viability, we know that video rentals are a business that due to a massive disruption from online retailers such as Netflix and other direct online companies that stream videos. However, we do not know where are the franchises located. Had we known the distance, the better advice might have been to merge few of the shops into one and become a boutique video shop in order not to incur further operational losses on the massive disruption.
To conclude, there are many questions that could lead the business owner of Movie Galore to be more specific and prompt in the memorandum. There should be an effort to quantify the data and be more precise in the communication with the store owners. We have discussed some but not all of the points which the owner should have sharpened in order to make a more viable adjustment to the business in the light of the massive and grand changes in their field of operation.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s particularly instead of other hours. Further, there is an assumption that cha...
^^^
Line 5, column 408, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'mean'?
Suggestion: mean
...eferred in the passage. Does the author means same hours of store operation or does t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 463, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'mean'?
Suggestion: mean
...s of store operation or does the author means cutting the stock of old movies or both...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d work out well in all the other ones. Finally, there is an issue of business v...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...onal losses on the massive disruption. To conclude, there are many questions th...
^^^
Line 9, column 282, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... owners. We have discussed some but not all of the points which the owner should have shar...
^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'really', 'so', 'well', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.237924865832 0.25644967241 93% => OK
Verbs: 0.134168157424 0.15541462614 86% => OK
Adjectives: 0.112701252236 0.0836205057962 135% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0483005366726 0.0520304965353 93% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0268336314848 0.0272364105082 99% => OK
Prepositions: 0.0983899821109 0.125424944231 78% => OK
Participles: 0.0161001788909 0.0416121511921 39% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.9396435158 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0232558139535 0.026700313972 87% => OK
Particles: 0.00178890876565 0.001811407834 99% => OK
Determiners: 0.118067978533 0.113004496875 104% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0250447227191 0.0255425247493 98% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0304114490161 0.0127820249294 238% => Maybe 'Which' is overused. If other WH_determiners like 'Who, What, Whom, Whose...' are used too in sentences, then there are no issues.
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2949.0 2731.13054187 108% => OK
No of words: 500.0 446.07635468 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.898 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.306 0.378187486979 81% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.23 0.287650121315 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.158 0.208842608468 76% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112 0.135150697306 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9396435158 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 207.018472906 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472 0.469332199767 101% => OK
Word variations: 54.4901451986 52.1807786196 104% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 22.7272727273 23.2022227129 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.7136253488 57.7814097925 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.045454545 141.986410481 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7272727273 23.2022227129 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.454545454545 0.724660767414 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.58251231527 167% => OK
Readability: 45.7272727273 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.68376068376 1.8405768891 91% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440317960015 0.441005458295 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.115881060175 0.135418324435 86% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0658510932661 0.0829849096947 79% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.534581961345 0.58762219726 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.159761914875 0.147661913831 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.167649808104 0.193483328276 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0964270836616 0.0970749176394 99% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.41410494669 0.42659136922 97% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0737778405715 0.0774707102158 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.300908865245 0.312017818177 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04426927821 0.0698173142475 63% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.82512315271 187% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.