The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situ

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The argument cites various comparison to prove that first born monkey/human produce double hormone cortisol than their younger sibling and are more reactive in different situation due to this hormone spur. In Addition, author has elucidated that first time conceiver(MONKEY) generally has higher level of cortisol. In this argument author presents his theory without potential data& test and supplementary experiment's result.

Firstly, author claims that firstborn infant monkey produce double cortisol which stimulate their activity level than their younger siblings. A general proven fact is ignored by the author that for new born encounter with new ambience to any unfamiliar thing amaze or excite them as a result their body might be producing more cortisol hormones. Author does not provide any observation of other siblings cortisol level when they encounter any unknown object or being. It is very much likely that their cortisol level spur in such settings and impetus their activity level as well. This loophole in the comparison study make the argument unimpeachable.

Secondly, analogue of human infant and new born monkey's higher costisol level's same reason call for substantial experiments with the person these infants are not having transport attachment. There are potent chance that their hormones stimulation is due to emotional bonding with the things or person such as meeting with parents or getting familiar object after transient separation. Similarly, all the kids might be unmoved by any things with which they are not emotionally attached. Author has not considered these ulterior reason of hormone stimulation in infants.

Thirdly, if first time mother monkey has higher level of cortisol than those who has been pregnant several times. This situation clearly raise a question that whether or not a first time mother monkey with higher cortisol during pregnancy has transferred this reactive characteristics to infant's body? If it is the case, it is very much likely that the baby monkey would be more reactive. Author should have provided some observation or test results to ascertain his claim.

Undoubtedly, authors claim with his research of monkey/ human infant's higher activity level due to stimulated cortisol would be authoritative if he would have provided explanations negating other possibilities - infants same reaction and cortisol level in familiar setting, infant and sibling alike reaction reading with person/things they have no sentiments and biological possibility of infant's inheriting higher cortisol and reactive body from mother . Without these data author's elucidated reasoning are specious.

Votes
Average: 4 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Sentence: In Addition, author has elucidated that first time conceiverMONKEY generally has higher level of cortisol.
Error: conceiverMONKEY Suggestion: conceive

Sentence: A general proven fact is ignored by the author that for new born encounter with new ambience to any unfamiliar thing amaze or excite them as a result their body might be producing more cortisol hormones.
Error: ambience Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
This is a topic for new GRE, and you are asked to 'discuss one or more alternative explanations'.

read the explanations:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-appeared-part-letter-ed…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 2210 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.484 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.643 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.659 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5