The following appeared as a part of a letter of a scientific journal.
“A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual’s level of simulation. The study showed that in simulating simulations (such as encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in simulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring”
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author here has proposed a statement regarding the effects of birth order on an individual's level of simulation. But, unfortunately his proposal is rife with holes and assumptions. The statement, though interesting is not convincing and is not strong enough to define a simulation situation.
The argument is giving rise to many questions. One of them is what are the consequences of the double hormone cortisol production in the first born monkeys? It is said that the cortisol primes the body for increased activity levels but it is mentioned nowhere whether this is good or bad.
Secondly, the author is mentioning the level of cortisol in human firstborns as well. But no relevance can be found between this statement and the argument author is making. Also, like in the case of monkeys, nothing is expatiated regarding the effect of high cortisol levels.
It is also mentioned that the first time mother monkeys have higher levels of cortisol than those who have several offspring during pregnancy. But it is not clear what he is trying to convey with this fact. Here again he fails to describe how this information is relevant in the study of the effects of birth order on an individual’s level of simulations.
The argument given here is highly ambiguous and is presenting insufficient information to support its point. While the proposal does illuminate a possibility, it requires more information and study before drawing any conclusion.
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'well', 'while']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.243243243243 0.25644967241 95% => OK
Verbs: 0.189189189189 0.15541462614 122% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0733590733591 0.0836205057962 88% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0617760617761 0.0520304965353 119% => OK
Pronouns: 0.03861003861 0.0272364105082 142% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.11583011583 0.125424944231 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0656370656371 0.0416121511921 158% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.9301909754 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.019305019305 0.026700313972 72% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.119691119691 0.113004496875 106% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.003861003861 0.0255425247493 15% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.015444015444 0.0127820249294 121% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1465.0 2731.13054187 54% => OK
No of words: 239.0 446.07635468 54% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.12970711297 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.93187294222 4.57801047555 86% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.36820083682 0.378187486979 97% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.280334728033 0.287650121315 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.225941422594 0.208842608468 108% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.154811715481 0.135150697306 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9301909754 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 207.018472906 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.585774058577 0.469332199767 125% => OK
Word variations: 58.7736271922 52.1807786196 113% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 20.039408867 70% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0714285714 23.2022227129 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.0826584137 57.7814097925 50% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.642857143 141.986410481 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0714285714 23.2022227129 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.714285714286 0.724660767414 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 3.58251231527 0% => OK
Readability: 45.1049013748 51.9672348444 87% => OK
Elegance: 1.46666666667 1.8405768891 80% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.393179440708 0.441005458295 89% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0974893430713 0.135418324435 72% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0541223557114 0.0829849096947 65% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.60545837149 0.58762219726 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.100325858873 0.147661913831 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.180965540242 0.193483328276 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.164034909622 0.0970749176394 169% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.352506791959 0.42659136922 83% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.104757696951 0.0774707102158 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.26290196665 0.312017818177 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0935247104196 0.0698173142475 134% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.33743842365 36% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 2.0 6.46551724138 31% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 5.36822660099 75% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 9.0 14.657635468 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
---------------------
More content wanted. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 41.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.