The following appeared as part of a recommendation from the financial planning office to the administration of Fern valley University:
"In the past few years, Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications. The reason can be discovered from our students, who most often cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. Therefore, in order to increase the number of students attending our university, and hence to regain our position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area, it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among the alumni that will enable us to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities."
The arguer has asserted that in the past few years Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in enrolments and admissions applications and the reason being poor teaching and inadequate library resources. Further, the author have asserted that to increase the number of students to their university and to regain the most position of most prestigious university they need to start a fund-raising campaign among the alumni which would allow them to broaden the range of subjects and increase their size of library facilities. But, the argument relies on assumptions and there is no clear evidence provided in the recommendation and is therefore, weak and unconvincing with several major flaws.
Firstly, there is deterioration in the enrolments and admissions applications in last few years and the major reason which is provided by students of this university is poor teaching and lack of library resources. However, the arguer doesn't provide substantial evidence about how much has been the decline in the enrolment’s and admissions applications. Further, the arguer should have provided more information about how many students were being asked for the reason behind this decline. There are various questions which need to be answered such as: Is the reason behind the decline of enrolment’s poor teaching and inadequate library resources? Or their might be decline in the enrolment’s due to high fees of the Fern valley university whereas it might happen that the university doesn't produce good placements for the students, or it could be possible that the library have resources but which are obsolete and the area being small. So, to bolster the argument the arguer could have provided the survey result of 100 students and provided sufficient reason behind the decline other than the personal views of students.
Secondly, the arguer also asserts that to increase the number of students attending the university and to regain their position as the prestigious university in their area they would have to initiate a campaign asking their alumni's to raise funds. But would this be sufficient enough to get enough students? Will the university again regain its position for sure? Even if it regains its position as prestigious university would there be enough enrolment’s and admissions applications that year. What would the university of the teachers which have poor teaching skill? Would the alumni raise enough fund require for the increase of library facilities? These are the questions which need to be answered by the arguer to make it convincing for the reader.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 430, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a fund-raising campaign among the alumni which would allow them to broaden the ra...
^^
Line 3, column 235, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... library resources. However, the arguer doesnt provide substantial evidence about how ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 800, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...eas it might happen that the university doesnt produce good placements for the student...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 760, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r to make it convincing for the reader.
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'whereas', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.257142857143 0.25644967241 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.149450549451 0.15541462614 96% => OK
Adjectives: 0.103296703297 0.0836205057962 124% => OK
Adverbs: 0.021978021978 0.0520304965353 42% => Some adverbs wanted.
Pronouns: 0.032967032967 0.0272364105082 121% => OK
Prepositions: 0.105494505495 0.125424944231 84% => OK
Participles: 0.0395604395604 0.0416121511921 95% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.91341957988 2.79052419416 104% => OK
Infinitives: 0.032967032967 0.026700313972 123% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.10989010989 0.113004496875 97% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0263736263736 0.0255425247493 103% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0197802197802 0.0127820249294 155% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2611.0 2731.13054187 96% => OK
No of words: 413.0 446.07635468 93% => OK
Chars per words: 6.32203389831 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.392251815981 0.378187486979 104% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.295399515738 0.287650121315 103% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.239709443099 0.208842608468 115% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.133171912833 0.135150697306 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91341957988 2.79052419416 104% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 207.018472906 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.409200968523 0.469332199767 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 43.5466082287 52.1807786196 83% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 20.039408867 80% => OK
Sentence length: 25.8125 23.2022227129 111% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.665046031 57.7814097925 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.1875 141.986410481 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8125 23.2022227129 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.75 0.724660767414 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.14285714286 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 55.3524515738 51.9672348444 107% => OK
Elegance: 1.96774193548 1.8405768891 107% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.530527226419 0.441005458295 120% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.173087795915 0.135418324435 128% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0873209045146 0.0829849096947 105% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.574390477244 0.58762219726 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.132081840473 0.147661913831 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.242953014021 0.193483328276 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113533875625 0.0970749176394 117% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.619243284132 0.42659136922 145% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0532372140081 0.0774707102158 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.442410604443 0.312017818177 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0696045283555 0.0698173142475 100% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.33743842365 48% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.87684729064 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 3.0 6.46551724138 46% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 5.36822660099 149% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.