The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal

Essay topics:

The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:

Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

The letter written by the author lacks vital evidence and valid reasoning as to why the school should change its private vendor.It is true that some students find the lunch not enjoyable but they do not speak for the students of the whole school. More concrete evidence is required to justify what is mentioned in the letter.

The author says that some students of the school do not find the lunch options enjoyable. Well, that might be true from the students point of view but there might be other group of students or their parents who find the low-fat, low-calorie meals very beneficial for them as it keeps them fit and healthy. Conducting a survey and comparing the statistics would have given a better picture of what most of the students/parents think of the private vendor.This would help the school management to decide the final verdict.

It is also mentioned that that the plan of the management to bring the private vendor might cause a negative effect as it would cause the students to bring their own less healthy food. This statement is absolutely baseless as it is the parents who would decide what the students would eat. Mentioning this suggests that they would allow the students to bring less healthy food to the school. If the parents support the school and do not provide the children with money to buy outside food, then it would be good for the children at the end. While the concern remains that the food is not tasty or enjoyable, the concerned parents could request that the school management could advice their private vendor swift to make the dishes a little more enjoyable and tasty while at the same time make sure that the nutrition factor remains.

Thus the author must come up with valid reasoning and proper evidence in justifying his point that would provide a wholesome conclusion in this matter.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 129, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...school should change its private vendor.It is true that some students find the lun...
^^
Line 4, column 455, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...nts/parents think of the private vendor.This would help the school management to dec...
^^^^
Line 7, column 22, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...inal verdict. It is also mentioned that that the plan of the management to bring the...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 678, Rule ID: GIVE_ADVISE[4]
Message: Did you mean 'advise' (a verb)?
Suggestion: advise
...equest that the school management could advice their private vendor swift to make the ...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...that the nutrition factor remains. Thus the author must come up with valid reas...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'if', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'as to', 'it is true']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.207207207207 0.25644967241 81% => OK
Verbs: 0.168168168168 0.15541462614 108% => OK
Adjectives: 0.117117117117 0.0836205057962 140% => OK
Adverbs: 0.039039039039 0.0520304965353 75% => OK
Pronouns: 0.042042042042 0.0272364105082 154% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.102102102102 0.125424944231 81% => OK
Participles: 0.027027027027 0.0416121511921 65% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.38730614868 2.79052419416 86% => OK
Infinitives: 0.027027027027 0.026700313972 101% => OK
Particles: 0.003003003003 0.001811407834 166% => OK
Determiners: 0.144144144144 0.113004496875 128% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.045045045045 0.0255425247493 176% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.024024024024 0.0127820249294 188% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1845.0 2731.13054187 68% => OK
No of words: 318.0 446.07635468 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.80188679245 6.12365571057 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.57801047555 92% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.305031446541 0.378187486979 81% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.232704402516 0.287650121315 81% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.154088050314 0.208842608468 74% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0849056603774 0.135150697306 63% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38730614868 2.79052419416 86% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 207.018472906 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477987421384 0.469332199767 102% => OK
Word variations: 47.8008701444 52.1807786196 92% => OK
How many sentences: 11.0 20.039408867 55% => OK
Sentence length: 28.9090909091 23.2022227129 125% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.8055028168 57.7814097925 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 167.727272727 141.986410481 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.9090909091 23.2022227129 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.909090909091 0.724660767414 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.14285714286 78% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 52.1795311607 51.9672348444 100% => OK
Elegance: 1.34939759036 1.8405768891 73% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.46045925828 0.441005458295 104% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.169367276139 0.135418324435 125% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.065898340109 0.0829849096947 79% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.725371608024 0.58762219726 123% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.135435676128 0.147661913831 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.242943800004 0.193483328276 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0898841495529 0.0970749176394 93% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.435257961975 0.42659136922 102% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.182946175467 0.0774707102158 236% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.308944059766 0.312017818177 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.14023247003 0.0698173142475 201% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 11.0 14.657635468 75% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.