The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.
"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."
As per the memporandum from the bussiness manager of television station, he argues that the station has increase the timing for the national news in the late-night news program, but there were many complaints received withe station less coverage for local or weather news. Thus author directly concludes that he should follow the same times as devoted to the respective news before. When more light is put on the write up, then we can recognise that there are many holes in this which are the statement without proper assumption. There is high requirement from the manager that he provide more evidences that can substantiate the point clearly. But as such the argument is full of fallacies and flaws.
To begin with, come to the start of argument, here the statement is about the program which is over the past year. Here there is a need that manager should answer following questions before concluding. When was this program started? Whether the program recieved ths complaints at the start or after the one year of is arrival? Was there any survey conducted which provided with the people complaing about the newly started program? Most important is that manager should look keenly to answer this questions and supporting it with germane evidences and proofs. The mere speculation of complains about the program will not help to explain the point of maganer lucidly.
The viewer if want the local and weather news coverage more, then that can be satisfied by increasing the frequency of it in other day timings instead of changing the newly set pattern. Also the manager should explain more on what news timing are satisfactory for viewers. There could be the possibility that advertise businesses may also eventually increase due to this method.
The manager only states that local business that used to advertise during our late- night news have canceled the contract with us. It could be a the other way round that the advertiser involved are not happy with the contract so may have left. THe manager must understand all aspects before making the conclusion.
Sentence: As per the memporandum from the bussiness manager of television station, he argues that the station has increase the timing for the national news in the late-night news program, but there were many complaints received withe station less coverage for local or weather news.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to has and increase
Description: A verb, past participle is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to received and withe
Sentence: There is high requirement from the manager that he provide more evidences that can substantiate the point clearly.
Description: The fragment he provide more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, past tense
Sentence: Most important is that manager should look keenly to answer this questions and supporting it with germane evidences and proofs.
Description: The fragment Most important is is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace important with adverb
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and questions
Sentence: The viewer if want the local and weather news coverage more, then that can be satisfied by increasing the frequency of it in other day timings instead of changing the newly set pattern.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to if and want
Sentence: The manager only states that local business that used to advertise during our late- night news have canceled the contract with us.
Description: The word states is not usually used as a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to states
Sentence: It could be a the other way round that the advertiser involved are not happy with the contract so may have left.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to a and the
Sentence: As per the memporandum from the bussiness manager of television station, he argues that the station has increase the timing for the national news in the late-night news program, but there were many complaints received withe station less coverage for local or weather news.
Error: bussiness Suggestion: business
Error: memporandum Suggestion: memorandum
Error: withe Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: When more light is put on the write up, then we can recognise that there are many holes in this which are the statement without proper assumption.
Error: recognise Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Whether the program recieved ths complaints at the start or after the one year of is arrival?
Error: recieved Suggestion: received
Sentence: Was there any survey conducted which provided with the people complaing about the newly started program?
Error: complaing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The mere speculation of complains about the program will not help to explain the point of maganer lucidly.
Error: maganer Suggestion: manner
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
argument 1 -- not exactly
argument 2 -- not ok
try this pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
You didn't get the point on how to do argument. You may read a good GRE book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.887 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.431 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.625 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5