The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The newsletter recommends daily consumption of Ichthaid, to reduce cold among people of West Meria. This in turn will aid in reducing absenteeism in schools and workplaces. Further, to bolster its claim, the newsletter furnishes, example of East Meria where high consumption of fish has resulted in few people visiting the doctor. Though the claim seems quite perfect at the first glance as it aims to reduce absenteeism by eliminating the factor responsible for it, but on closer consideration, the argument is rife with assumptions and fails to provide sufficient proof for those assumptions. The argument stated in this way makes a weak case and needs further re-evaluation and research.
The first evidence that would help us in evaluating the plan is the comparison between the lifestyle and body of West and East Meria. The argument assumes that the nutrients which had a positive impact on people of East Meria will have a similar impact on the people of West Meria. If we are to find evidences that the lifestyle of residents of West Meria is quite different from East Meria and their body will not respond in a similar way to the nutrients. The inhabitants of West Meria might already be consuming the nutrients available in fishes in some other form and they are lacking in order nutrients leading them to fall ill. If this is the case, the more consumption of fish nutrients would not help and will certainly weaken the claim. To bolster his claim, the Public Health Council must carry out a proper investigation and research identifying the nutrients missing in West Meria inhabitants.
In addition to this, the argument relies on a report where it is claimed that East Meria people visit doctors only once or twice a year. Though, no evidence supporting the report has been provided. If we were to learn that East Meria people usually treat their cold at home and believe in home remedies rather than visiting a doctor. They only visit a doctor when the cold gets prolonged and is not alleviating by home remedies. The entire argument fails as the report will then not be a proper presentation for the actual figure of people who suffered from cold in East Meria. If the author had explicitly mentioned that all the colds were reported then it would have helped in evaluating the claim.
Moreover, the argument assumes that people of West Meria are sick and are not using cold as an excuse to escape work. The West Meria inhabitants might be quite lazy and they usually come up with the excuse of cold to get a day off or engage in some personal activities. It is essential that probing research is carried out in which the actual reason for absenteeism is studied. For, the proper evaluation of the claim it is required that the nature of West Meria inhabitants is studied. It needs to be established that they are free of mendacity and take off from work only under emergency conditions.
To sum up, the newsletter recommendation might have its merit but without proper evaluation and research, the recommendation can not be adopted at this stage. The author needs to further clarify the similarity between East and West Meria inhabitants and provide us with the authenticity of the report. He also needs to dwell deeper into the real cause of absenteeism. The answers to these questions will help us in further supporting the recommendation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 574 350
No. of Characters: 2740 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.895 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.653 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.96 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.995 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.44 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.296 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 135, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...estyle and body of West and East Meria. The argument assumes that the nutrients whi...
^^^
Line 4, column 424, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a similar way" with adverb for "similar"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...t Meria and their body will not respond in a similar way to the nutrients. The inhabitants of We...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 138, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...isit doctors only once or twice a year. Though, no evidence supporting the report has ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 579, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e who suffered from cold in East Meria. If the author had explicitly mentioned tha...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, then, well, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2792.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 574.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86411149826 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71782363925 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439024390244 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 863.1 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.6561012246 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.384615385 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0769230769 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.69230769231 5.70786347227 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188012428474 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0584761266252 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429896970028 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108231157424 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0200308265868 0.0628817314937 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.