“Last year, the number of visits to our local beach in Bridge Bay was 50 percent lower
than the year before. Early last year we ended our contract with Arko Trash Collection, a
company that had serviced local garbage collection for the past twenty years. We switched
at that time to Satellite Waste Corporation, another trash collection company. In nearby
Ocean Harbor, where Arko has continued to provide garbage collection, the beaches are
experiencing record levels of attendance. Meanwhile, in Bridge Bay, complaints about
garbage on our beach have increased this year. Clearly, inadequate garbage collection on
our beach by Satellite has led to the significant drop in visitors. Therefore, in order to
restore visitor numbers to our local beach, we recommend resuming our contract with
Arko as soon as possible.”
While it may seem that by resuming contract with Arko, Bay Beach will be able to restore visitor numbers. But the recommendation ha lot of weaknesses.
It is stated that percentage of people visiting Bridge Bay has reduced to 50% over last one year, but the cause for that decrease is not mentioned. Oceanic carnival famous in entire country, that used to held in Bridge Bay every year, did not held last year. Which might have decreased number of visits to bridge bay. While IN Ocean Harbor, Brigley rock concert might have waxed the attendance.
Moreover, a large number of people visits bay for commercial fishing, and are not affected by the cleanliness of the bay. Number of fishes in Bridge Bay had been decreased drastically last year due to spilling of oil tanker in bay. On the other hand Ocean Harbor continues to sustain a rich aquatic life. Emergence of new species of fish might have attenuated the number of visitors.
Furthermore, setting up of a industry near a Bridge Bay had increased noise and air pollution in the area, that might have attracted visitors to Ocean Harbor. Smoke from chimneys have increased air pollution to harmful level in Bridge Bay. Sound from factories disturb people who visits bay for relaxation and enjoyment. Pricing of campianing might have lowered attendance in Bridge Bay
So, while cleanliness of a bay is a factor that had decreased attendance, but it is just one small factor which is outweighed by other factors.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 250 350
No. of Characters: 1185 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.74 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.544 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.394 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'hold'
Suggestion: hold
... held in Bridge Bay every year, did not held last year. Which might have decreased n...
^^^^
Line 3, column 260, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...Bay every year, did not held last year. Which might have decreased number of visits t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...have waxed the attendance. Moreover, a large number of people visits bay for commercial fishin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 28, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...visitors. Furthermore, setting up of a industry near a Bridge Bay had increase...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, while, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1227.0 2260.96107784 54% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 250.0 441.139720559 57% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.908 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97635364384 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61144864012 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 137.0 204.123752495 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.548 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 378.0 705.55239521 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.2017100946 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.6428571429 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8571428571 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.64285714286 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236460941209 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0886889992341 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.077077847103 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128630037553 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0748463784005 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.