Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation
The presented argument bats for the claims of the Pirouttes Ballet School as the ideal school for learning ballet. The claims of the said school is supported by its assumptions of providing an intensive program, coupled with experienced teachers and an apparently strong alumni who have joined the top companies. The claims, though may appear to be logically sound at the first glance, are not so if we delve deeper.
Firstly, the argument claims that it provides the most intensive program but doesn't further elucidate upon what makes it intensive. The term intensive in itself is ambiguous because a school may be intensive in terms of the number of hours it requires the student to attend the school or it may be intensive in terms the sheer volume of dance forms and techniques it may teach in a class. Since we have no understanding of what makes the program intensive, we can't conclude it to be the best. Further, by stating that the school is most intensive, a reader of such argument is likely to get confounded because it doesn't indicate the schools it may have compared itself with before coming to such conclusion. Again, there is always a possibility that may have compared itself with schools exhibiting strongly dismal results in which case it may be the 'most' intensive program. However, there shall always be a question of the kind of schools it has compared itself with to come to such a conclusion, and therefore evidences, possibly in form of surveys may help. In extension, we also don't have an understanding if such claims by the school is based on the location where it might be present, in which case it wouldn't be wrong to consider it to provide most intensive program if other schools in the same area are not equally devoting their time on students.
Secondly, the school claims to employ teachers who have performed at the most prestigious ballet dance companies all over the world. Although, the teachers st the school may be their best given that they have been part of the prestigious ballet companies, it brings us to question the abilities of an individual as a teachers. There is always the possibility, and in fact has been the case many a times, an individual may be an excellent dancer, a cook or a physicist, but may not always be the best teacher. This is because, teaching not only requires mastery of your own subject but also needs an ability to understand the children and simplify the instructions to allow for faster imbibing. Further, the claims of teachers performing at the most prestigious companies again stands to be challenged by the questions on what defines a prestigious ballet company, and makes them the 'most' prestigious. Given that we don't have evidence on the type of prestigious companies with which the school has compared itself with, we can't conclude it to be the best school.
Lastly, the argument claims that their students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. Again, there shall always be the question of what defines a top dance company. By all means, ranking is relative and can change based on the individuals perception. What may be considered the top company by one school may not be so by the other school, and hence, we again would require evidence of the companies where its alumni have been hired. Further, we also don't have any information on the number of students who joined the stated top companies, where there is a lihihood that the number of students may range from one to hundreds. Again, unless the query on the number of students placed, or the year in which they got the opportunity to join top dance companies, we may not agree with the school's claim of being the best.
To conclude, the argument essentially requires to provide more evidence before it can fully claim that Pirouttes Ballet school is the best. Unless the questions that have been raised have been addressed, we can't fully agree with the claims of the school.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. better to say: maybe most students come to the school not for professional dancers.
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flaws:
1. need to argue this:
Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child.
2. better to put argument 1 and argument 2 together for:
Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 687 350
No. of Characters: 3206 1500
No. of Different Words: 250 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.548 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 234 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.218 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.194 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 314, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...umni who have joined the top companies. The claims, though may appear to be logical...
^^^
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...provides the most intensive program but doesnt further elucidate upon what makes it in...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...of what makes the program intensive, we cant conclude it to be the best. Further, by...
^^^^
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... is likely to get confounded because it doesnt indicate the schools it may have compar...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 844, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ngly dismal results in which case it may be the most intensive program. However, ...
^^
Line 3, column 1085, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...surveys may help. In extension, we also dont have an understanding if such claims by...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1210, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...e it might be present, in which case it wouldnt be wrong to consider it to provide most...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ime on students. Secondly, the school claims to employ teachers who have perfo...
^^
Line 5, column 317, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a teacher' or simply 'teachers'?
Suggestion: a teacher; teachers
...stion the abilities of an individual as a teachers. There is always the possibility, and i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 397, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a time' or simply 'times'?
Suggestion: a time; times
...ity, and in fact has been the case many a times, an individual may be an excellent danc...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 917, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...hem the most prestigious. Given that we dont have evidence on the type of prestigiou...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1024, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...the school has compared itself with, we cant conclude it to be the best school. L...
^^^^
Line 7, column 260, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...is relative and can change based on the individuals perception. What may be considered the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 483, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...lumni have been hired. Further, we also dont have any information on the number of s...
^^^^
Line 9, column 48, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'providing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: providing
...lude, the argument essentially requires to provide more evidence before it can fully claim...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 208, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ave been raised have been addressed, we cant fully agree with the claims of the scho...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, in fact, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 55.5748502994 157% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3277.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 681.0 441.139720559 154% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81204111601 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.10842213422 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62952259786 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 204.123752495 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.380323054332 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 998.1 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.3093761513 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.541666667 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.375 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.04166666667 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.25449101796 305% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297656555836 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110439431097 0.0743258471296 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854779292177 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191856033847 0.128457276422 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517643277778 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.