The purpose of higher education is to prepare students for the future, but classen students are at a serious disadvantage in the competition for post-college employment due to the university's burdensome breadth requirements. classen's job placement rate is substantially lower than placement rates of many top-ranked schools. classen students would be more attractive to employers if they had more time to take advanced courses in their specialty, rather than being required to spend fifteen percent of their time at classen taking courses outside of their subject area. we demand, therefore, that the university abandon or drastically cut back on its breadth requirements.
The argurment above states that job placements for students from Classen University are lower that other top ranked schools and it is believed that these lower job placements are due to the breath requiremnts of the university. It is assumed that taking courses that taking courses outside their subject area is making the students not attractive to the employers.
However, this argument has manny assumptions that make it flawed. It is assumed that the students re not attractive to the employers due to the fifteen percent they spend doing other courses which are not in line with their majors. This assumption does not hold as there are a lot of things that employers take into account when hiring people. The transcript is one of the things that is considered. There are aspects likehow you present yourself in the interview, how you perform in an interview section. In some fields for example in chemistry say you had applied for a job a technician, you might be required to conduct some experiments under supervision. Of which any chemistry school can give you these basics so it will depend on the individual.
Furthermore, it is assumed that taking many courses in their majors will increase their job placements. This might not be the case, it would have been better if they did a survey with their potential employers and asked questions on whether ther was anything wrong with the course content. For them to come up with the conclusion that its mainly the course content that makes them not competetive. The students reach to a conclusion that cutting or abandoning breath requirements will increase their chances of being attractive in the job market.
In conclusion, this arguments needs a lot of evidence before aconclusion is drawn that the course content is causing them not to be competetive in the job market.
Sentence: In conclusion, this arguments needs a lot of evidence before aconclusion is drawn that the course content is causing them not to be competetive in the job market.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and arguments
Sentence: The argurment above states that job placements for students from Classen University are lower that other top ranked schools and it is believed that these lower job placements are due to the breath requiremnts of the university.
Error: requiremnts Suggestion: requirements
Error: argurment Suggestion: argument
Sentence: However, this argument has manny assumptions that make it flawed.
Error: manny Suggestion: many
Sentence: There are aspects likehow you present yourself in the interview, how you perform in an interview section.
Error: likehow Suggestion: like
Sentence: This might not be the case, it would have been better if they did a survey with their potential employers and asked questions on whether ther was anything wrong with the course content.
Error: ther Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For them to come up with the conclusion that its mainly the course content that makes them not competetive.
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive
Sentence: In conclusion, this arguments needs a lot of evidence before aconclusion is drawn that the course content is causing them not to be competetive in the job market.
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive
Error: aconclusion Suggestion: conclusion
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. it is not 'taking many courses in their majors' but 'had more time to take advanced courses in their specialty'.
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Need 3 arguments, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 308 350
No. of Characters: 1499 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.189 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.867 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.588 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.792 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5