A recent poll in the city of Mac FastFood indicated that 20 percent more people prefer to eat out frequently now than was the case ten years ago, according to a poll conducted then. Local government tax data also indicates a similar increase in the percentage of taxes collected from the food industry. Since the food-regulation body introduced stringent measures to ensure good quality of food, several restaurants are on the brink of closure. Therefore, it is recommended that the local government divert some of the funds for city administration and development to these restaurants to revive them. Since the number of people who eat out regularly will keep increasing every year, the restaurants will have adequate business. Hence this move will help the local government to recover the investment in the form of taxes in a short time.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of this analytical piece arrives at the conclusion that local government should divert some of the funds for city administration and developement to restaurants. To substantiate assertion, author cites that, number of people who eat out regularly is increasing every year and food regulation body introduced stringent measures to ensure good quality of food due to which several restaurants are on the brink of closure. Counterproductively, close scrutiny of facts, argument suffers from many fallacies. Also, author had considered limited factors before jumping to conclusion. Non consideration of additional factors has left argument vulnerable to skepticism and ambiguities.
Firstly, Is 20% increase in people large amount? Author has not provided statistics of poll which can prove that 20% is large amount. 20% could be 20 or 200 or 20000 also. Without any evidences, we cannot concluded that % increase in people who eat out is large amount. Consider, if it is not large amount, then also conclusion of author remains same? Author need to look into this factor.
Moreover, Is introduction of stringent measures by food regulation body only reason for the closure of several restaurants? Author has not provided any evidence to support his claim. There could be other reasons also due to which several restaurants are on the brink of closure. Author need to provide evidences which can make his argument more convincing. Moreover, there are many questions raised from this argument. Is study so reliable that result of that will applies to any restaurants? Authore has not look into this factor.It is possible that there are more food addicted people in that area or population of that area is increasing which could be the reason for increase in people who eat out. There could be possibility of increase in number of restaurants also. So if this true, then can profit of each restaurant will increase? Author need to answer this type of questions.
Therefore, This argument leaves large areas of doubts. Shedding light on them surely strengthen the argument.
Sentence: Without any evidences, we cannot concluded that increase in people who eat out is large amount.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and concluded
Sentence: The author of this analytical piece arrives at the conclusion that local government should divert some of the funds for city administration and developement to restaurants.
Error: developement Suggestion: development
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flaws:
You didn't organize the content well. Need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
A: A recent poll in the city of Mac FastFood indicated that 20 percent more people prefer to eat out frequently now than was the case ten years ago, according to a poll conducted then. Local government tax data also indicates a similar increase in the percentage of taxes collected from the food industry.
B: Since the number of people who eat out regularly will keep increasing every year, the restaurants will have adequate business.
//your argument 1 is not OK. Need to accept those data or evidence are true, and then try to find out loopholes. The suggested argument: from A can't get B. The increase may be only for the past years.
condition 2:
Since the food-regulation body introduced stringent measures to ensure good quality of food, several restaurants are on the brink of closure. //your argument 2 is OK
conclusion:
Therefore, it is recommended that the local government divert some of the funds for city administration and development to these restaurants to revive them. Hence this move will help the local government to recover the investment in the form of taxes in a short time. //The suggested argument: 1.the funds diverted may be more than the investment; 2. maybe not in a short time, but a long time.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1700 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.924 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5