"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The author has cited some facts and come to the conclusion that the level of stimulation is higher in first born than in the successive siblings. However, the argument is rife with holes and unwarranted assumptions, and hence, not strong enough to buttress the preceded conclusion.
First of all, the argument is based on a questionable assumption that the result obtained from the study of eighteen rhesus monkey is representative of the entire species. However, this seems to be quite insufficient data pool for an experimental survey, and it is possible that in a larger population of monkeys, similar pattern of stimulation may not be observed. Furthermore, since there is no definite information about the nature of experiment conducted on humans, the scope and validity of the conclusion drawn upon them lacks corroboration.
Additionally, the conditions or environment in which experiments were conducted upon monkeys is unclear. Perhaps the first born monkeys, due to some fluke underwent a stressful situation prior to the experiment. This could explain the increased level of cortisol and hence, stimulation during the experiment. Similarly, the disparity in the level of hormones during pregnancy could be due to dietary factors, diseases or deformities in the would be mother. It may not have anything to do with the order of pregnancy.
Also, the particular behavior of the siblings could be due to difference in their adaptation capabilities. Perhaps, the first born assists its sibling in coping with various stressful situation so that cortisol level in the younger ones is low during those situation. Therefore, the difference in stimulation could be the result of a better adaptive quality or the presence of a supportive figure rather than the consequence of birth order.
To sum it up, various avenues are left unexplored in the argument, due to which the conclusion seems feeble. It would be wise to address those areas prior to setting any firm conclusion on the matter.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'monkey' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'monkeys'.
Suggestion: monkeys
...ained from the study of eighteen rhesus monkey is representative of the entire species...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 252, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this situation' or 'those situations'?
Suggestion: this situation; those situations
...level in the younger ones is low during those situation. Therefore, the difference in stimulati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'similarly', 'so', 'therefore', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.234463276836 0.25644967241 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.112994350282 0.15541462614 73% => OK
Adjectives: 0.118644067797 0.0836205057962 142% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0564971751412 0.0520304965353 109% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0197740112994 0.0272364105082 73% => OK
Prepositions: 0.132768361582 0.125424944231 106% => OK
Participles: 0.0282485875706 0.0416121511921 68% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.03321295978 2.79052419416 109% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0338983050847 0.026700313972 127% => OK
Particles: 0.00282485875706 0.001811407834 156% => OK
Determiners: 0.135593220339 0.113004496875 120% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0225988700565 0.0255425247493 88% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00564971751412 0.0127820249294 44% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2002.0 2731.13054187 73% => OK
No of words: 320.0 446.07635468 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.25625 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.57801047555 92% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.378125 0.378187486979 100% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.3125 0.287650121315 109% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.25 0.208842608468 120% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.16875 0.135150697306 125% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03321295978 2.79052419416 109% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 207.018472906 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540625 0.469332199767 115% => OK
Word variations: 56.936178514 52.1807786196 109% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.039408867 75% => OK
Sentence length: 21.3333333333 23.2022227129 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.811462107 57.7814097925 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.466666667 141.986410481 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3333333333 23.2022227129 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.8 0.724660767414 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 52.5833333333 51.9672348444 101% => OK
Elegance: 2.08955223881 1.8405768891 114% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.365819078395 0.441005458295 83% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.119089910821 0.135418324435 88% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0447108518056 0.0829849096947 54% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.646287029632 0.58762219726 110% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.12041842265 0.147661913831 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.164550929893 0.193483328276 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.064344839224 0.0970749176394 66% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.446249175854 0.42659136922 105% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.11735585068 0.0774707102158 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240361172821 0.312017818177 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0797755561612 0.0698173142475 114% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.33743842365 48% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 3.0 6.46551724138 46% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 9.0 14.657635468 61% => OK
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.