A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self-reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they "frequently" had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20% also reported that they had felt "sad, down, or blue" at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked with depression, and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
The author states that too much time online is linked with depression and bases it on observations that show that more people spend time online the more they seem to feel sad. On first look the argument sounds logical but on closer inspection many flaws are found as stated below.
Firstly the author hasn't indicated weather the participants in the survey were persons who have history of depression or were random. It could be that the people who responded to survey that's trying to find link between depression and number of hours spent online have had a history of depression. In that case it can also be said that number of hours spent online increases when one is suffering from depression. This is a opposite view which should not be confused with the conclusion author has stated here as it doesn't blame online surfing to be the reason for depression.
One can also say that the age bracket defined will not indicate correctly the relation between depression and online surfing. The author needs to expand this age bracket and also provide additional figures indicating which age group spends more hours online. As conclusion of the argument is too general in the sense that it doesn't apply the conclusion to only the age group that was under observation, we can say that the data used to arrive at this conclusion is inadequate.
Also the author makes another point that 20% of the persons who spent more than 30 hours were more affected by depression. Firstly using observation of only 20% of the group is wrong , other 80 % which is a majority might be having no problems at all. There are other factors that can lead to this observation like the 20% of the persons might be working in data centers where job demands then to do online survey and the reson for their depression could be that they are unhappy with their job.
The argument also cannot be rejected as there could be a relation as author suggests but it needs to be supported with more stats and more data about the participants involved which will help us analyze and trace the issue.
To sum, the argument lacks credibility as as author has not considered all the factors that can affect depression. Author needs to provide additional data which will make the argument more persuasive.
Sentence: To sum, the argument lacks credibility as as author has not considered all the factors that can affect depression.
Description: The fragment as as contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 1839 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.632 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.395 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.106 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.671 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5