“To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham’s enrollment is growing and based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. ”
In the above given memo from the dean at Buckingham College, the dean suggests that they should increase the number of dormitories in the college since the number of students will double in the next fifty years. He says that not only will it save the students from off-campus housing which is difficult to afford, it will increase enrollment at Buckingham College. This memo presented by the dean does not give a logical and practical suggestion and a closer look at his argument makes it insufficient to support the suggestion.
The dean is of the view that based on the current trend, the enrollment to the college will double in the coming fifty years. Considering this, the existing dormitories would be insufficient for all the students. However, if this trend is likely to continue like this is a matter which needs to be given a thought. Fifty years is a long period of time. There are many changes that happen in the administration and the running of a college. If the students are choosing to get enrolled in Buckingham College today, this might not be the case tomorrow. Enrollment of students depends upon many factors like the reputation of the college, job placements of graduates, courses offered, quality of education imparted etc. All these factors are variable in a span of fifty years. Therefore, it cannot be said for sure that in the next fifty years, the enrollment would double. Considering this, building a new dormitory might be a useless decision.
The dean further says that the average rent of an apartment in the town has increased in the recent years. However, if the rent is likely to continue to increase in future is a question that matters for students who seek off-campus housing. The prices of property see a lot of variation in short duration's of time. The average rent of any apartment depends upon the property prices of that time. What the property prices are going to be in the next fifty years cannot be determined today. Hence, if off-campus accommodation will not be affordable or if it is going to be comfortable for students is a matter of time. Moreover, if the average rent of an apartment is high in the town, the students have a choice of taking up an accommodation in the suburbs. Students can also form groups to share an apartment with which the burden of the rent is shared by all and it is not difficult on the pocket of any one of them. The dean ignores these possibilities and simply assumes that students will prefer a dormitory instead of off-campus accommodation.
The dean gives his final reason of building new dormitories and says that it will increase student enrollment in the college. This is, however, a very small factor which may effect student enrollment. As discussed earlier, there are many other factors which affect the enrollment of students. The students not only see the accommodation facilities given by the college but overall performance of the college while taking admission into it. Thus, the presence of dormitory is a secondary issue among many students seeking admission in a college. Moreover, many students prefer to take up an off-campus accommodation because it offers them independence. If they stay in a dormitory, they will have to bind themselves according to the rules of the college which can restrict their freedom. Therefore, even in the presence of a dormitory in the college, students might prefer to take up off-campus accommodations.
The dean also ignores the possibility of another college of repute coming up in future. In a span of fifty years there can be a number of new colleges rising in the town. It is possible that students prefer to get enrolled to other colleges than to get enrolled to Buckingham College due to the facilities offered as well as the reputation held by the other colleges. Therefore, it cannot be confirmed that student enrollment will double in the next fifty years. On the contrary, it might go down due to the increase in the number of colleges. The dean should consider these possibilities before suggesting such a decision. Building dormitories involves a great initial cost. The dean, however, does not seem to be concerned about this and simply presents a memorandum loosely based on assumptions and future possibilities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... given a thought. Fifty years is a long period of time. There are many changes that happen in ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 725, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'accommodation'.
Suggestion: accommodation
...the students have a choice of taking up an accommodation in the suburbs. Students can also form ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 175, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
... however, a very small factor which may effect student enrollment. As discussed earlie...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 78, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... of another college of repute coming up in future. In a span of fifty years there can be ...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'moreover', 'second', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'in short', 'as well as', 'on the contrary']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.227272727273 0.25644967241 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.156565656566 0.15541462614 101% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0833333333333 0.0836205057962 100% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0429292929293 0.0520304965353 83% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0277777777778 0.0272364105082 102% => OK
Prepositions: 0.133838383838 0.125424944231 107% => OK
Participles: 0.0441919191919 0.0416121511921 106% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.8312306035 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0277777777778 0.026700313972 104% => OK
Particles: 0.00631313131313 0.001811407834 349% => OK
Determiners: 0.142676767677 0.113004496875 126% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.030303030303 0.0255425247493 119% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0138888888889 0.0127820249294 109% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 4266.0 2731.13054187 156% => OK
No of words: 723.0 446.07635468 162% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.90041493776 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.18542759274 4.57801047555 113% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.3540802213 0.378187486979 94% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.273858921162 0.287650121315 95% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.213001383126 0.208842608468 102% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.125864453665 0.135150697306 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8312306035 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 207.018472906 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.367911479945 0.469332199767 78% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 46.5592084442 52.1807786196 89% => OK
How many sentences: 38.0 20.039408867 190% => Less sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 19.0263157895 23.2022227129 82% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.380701594 57.7814097925 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.263157895 141.986410481 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0263157895 23.2022227129 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.447368421053 0.724660767414 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 46.4122079057 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 1.78333333333 1.8405768891 97% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440190646089 0.441005458295 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.121042412213 0.135418324435 89% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0823679071234 0.0829849096947 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.48366999865 0.58762219726 82% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.16034920199 0.147661913831 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.165725503156 0.193483328276 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0727216058103 0.0970749176394 75% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.589530187977 0.42659136922 138% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.034851332541 0.0774707102158 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.344486855985 0.312017818177 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0293951720388 0.0698173142475 42% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.33743842365 192% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.87684729064 58% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 18.0 4.82512315271 373% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 14.0 6.46551724138 217% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 5.36822660099 75% => OK
Neutral topic words: 12.0 2.82389162562 425% => Less neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 30.0 14.657635468 205% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
More arguments wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.