The state of Lexiana, which imposes a mandatory deposit of 5 cents on all soft drink containers, has very little problem with littering along public highways. This strongly suggests that for the neighboring state of Indiansin, the best way to prevent any

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The state of Lexiana, which imposes a mandatory deposit of 5 cents on all soft drink containers, has very little problem with littering along public highways. This strongly suggests that for the neighboring state of Indiansin, the best way to prevent any increase in littering is to collect a deposit on all disposable containers. By collecting this deposit money, Indiansin will be moving to preserve the unspoiled scenery along its public thoroughfares.

In the mentioned argument the author believes that by imposing deposit on all disposable containers, Indiansin’s authority would be able to control the littering and decrease it. He has argued that, such method would be so effective because the same policy has been done in Lexiana, and its results were astonishing. His argument would be cogent in first glance, while encountered with some lacuna, if be considered elaborately.

The first issue, is that he is comparing two states with each other without considering their cultural levels. He has observed the decrease in littering in Lexiana, and believes that it is just because of imposing such policy. There are lots of possibilities, that should paint the author’s picture of such issue on. Decreasing littering would be because of the fact that people in that state are so high class, educated or because of enlightened culture, for example, they are aware of the effects of littering on their lives, such as its results in causing more diseases. Another possibility is that it is not the policy that make them not to litter, but teaching their children from the very beginning, in their schools,to not to do mentioned work.

What is more, the author has gone on to say that littering has been decreased along public highways, but he has not mentioned the situation of other parts of the state. There is no evidence that by imposing such deposit, other parts of the city would be also clean. Maybe another policies, like heavy punishments for drinking while driving, has made people not to drink in highways, while driving, and therefore littering in such places would not be observed. Paying attention to the decrease of littering in high ways, would not be representation on having clean city, just by imposing such policy. Therefor no significant evidences have been offered by the author. Additionally, for lots of people 5 cent would not be a lot. So imposing such policy would not guarantee the decrease in littering in city.

By and large, since the author has not offered a well analyzed argument, he cannot conclude that imposing similar policy in Indiansin state would work, as the result, more lights should be shed on his assumption.

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it is not the policy that make them not to litter
it is not the policy that makes them not to litter

Sentence: Maybe another policies, like heavy punishments for drinking while driving, has made people not to drink in highways, while driving, and therefore littering in such places would not be observed.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and policies

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not OK. 'thoroughfares' doesn't mean highways.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1786 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.253 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5