TOPIC 71 Traffic here in Waymarsh is becoming a problem Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes according to the survey just co

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TOPIC 71
Traffic here in Waymarsh is becoming a problem. Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work, the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes, according to the survey just completed. Members of the town council already have suggested more road building to address the problem, but as well as being expensive, the new construction will surely disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods. It would be better to follow the example of the nearby city of Garville. Last year Garville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Garville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and people from Garville tell me that commuting times have fallen considerably. There is no reason why a policy like Garville's shouldn't work equally well in Waymarsh."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author recommends that Waymarsh could follow the policy implemented in Garville in solving the traffic problem. To substantiate this recommendation, the author points out that people take more time to get to work now according two surveys. The author also cites that the commuting time in Garville have reduced significantly after government carry out a policy. Close check of these supporting evidences, however, reveal that it leads little credible support to the recommendation.

Firstly, in order to assess the author’s claims, we would need the evidence that whether or not average commute distance that people from Waymarsh take to work daily have changed significantly in the past 3 years. Perhaps the average commute distance has increased significantly. For example, most of residents may have been moved from the center of Waymarsh to the suburb, where they could have a breath of fresh air. Specifically, three years ago, the average commute distance maybe 4 miles. But it may rise to 20 miles now. Comparing these two data, we would easily found that people who driving longer distance would spend more time on commuting. Clearly, if we verify that the average commute distance have extended dramatically, it would weaken the author’s argument that the traffic problem result in the longer commuting time.

Secondly, another piece of evidence about the proportion of automobiles using for commuting during the rush hours would be helpful in evaluating the conclusion. It is possible that commuter’s cars only account for a few percentages. If Waymarsh is a tourist resort, attracting people all over the world, tourist cars would occupy a very high percentage . On the contrary, commuting cars only account for a smaller percentage. Such as 500 tourist bus verse 50 commuting cars in roads of Waymarsh. In that case, even Waymarsh display the policy, which encouraging commuters sharing rides to work, the total number of vehicles would not decrease significantly. So traffic congestion would be still there. It would undermine the author’s claims if we evinced that commuting cars merely had occupied a few percentage in the total vehicles.

Thirdly, we would also need to know the economic condition of Waymarsh to make evaluations. How much financial income and expenses for government of Waymarsh? We do not know. If they have had big fiscal deficits, it would impossible for them to pay for free gas. Moreover, Garvill has took the measure only one year, it may affordable for them. Whether government able to pay the spending of free gas in two years or five years is remain unknown. If it turn out that the economic condition of Waymarsh was apparently grim, it would significantly impaired the author’s conclusion.

In conclusion, the author cannot justify the recommendation on the basis of the evidence provided in the letter. To bolster it, the author must provide the distance for commuting in the two surveys, the proportion of different automobiles during the rush hours, and financial situation in Waymarsh.

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Average: 4.4 (5 votes)
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Comments

that people who driving longer distance would spend more time
that people who are driving longer distance would spend more time

that the average commute distance have extended dramatically
that the average commute distance has extended dramatically

even Waymarsh display the policy
even Waymarsh displays the policy

it would impossible for them
it would be impossible for them

Sentence: Moreover, Garvill has took the measure only one year, it may affordable for them.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to has and took

Sentence: Whether government able to pay the spending of free gas in two years or five years is remain unknown.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to government and able
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and remain

Sentence: If it turn out that the economic condition of Waymarsh was apparently grim, it would significantly impaired the author's conclusion.
Description: The fragment it turn out is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace turn with verb, past tense

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2

Still you have grammar issues.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2488 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.078 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.273 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.607 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5