We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
In the above recommendation, the author makes the suggestion of opening a cafe in the aforementioned bookstore(Monarch bookstore). The author then proceeds to give a handful of reasons why this step will lead to increased success for the bookstore. However, there are a few unwarranted assumptions made by the author. Also some vague statements are written by the author. I would like to point out some of the fallacies in the above passage and suggest some rectifications.
First of all, the writer mentions that opening a new cafe in the bookstore will attract more customers to the bookstore. But a clear explanation for the reason behind this statement. Will the cafe lead to the sale of more books? And how is the cafe conducive to customer satisfaction? Just saying that the cafe will lead to more customers is not sufficient.
Another fact posited by the author is that the children books section be replaced by the cafe, since the population of children in that age period has decreased. This does not mean that the sales from children's books has decreased. There is no correlation between children's book sales and population of children. Also, this statistic may not reflect a changing scenario.
Finally, the author makes a comparison between another bookstore(Regal bookstore) and concludes that the bookstore under consideration should follow its steps. However, it does so without studying or mentioning the full facts. Has constructing the cafe improved the sales in Regal bookstore? What are its strategies? Thus, a complete study is required to give us an in-depth perspective about the effect of the cafe.
The recommendation made by the committee is a good one, however, it should be backed by thorough analysis and facts.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 317, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...rranted assumptions made by the author. Also some vague statements are written by th...
^^^^
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...y the author. I would like to point out some of the fallacies in the above passage and sugg...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, so, then, thus, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1464.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 285.0 441.139720559 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13684210526 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04420292316 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533333333333 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.4750257025 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.2 119.503703932 61% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.25 23.324526521 61% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.65 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119095819898 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0383419137857 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0362120536953 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0591668114349 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0410399949164 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.197005988 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.94 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.