1." The following the memo is from the business of Edesia Food Store.
The japanese store Genki Desu makes huge profit. The storekeepers release stimulating scents early in the day to invigorate shopper and release soothing scents later in the day. there fore ,to attract more customer and make the customer spend more time and money at our store we should also use aromatic stimulants in the store"
The business manager Edesia Bibesia of food stores recommend that used of scent in the Shoppe is useful to invigorate the shopper ,which is somewhat have irrelevant and unwarranted assumption. He has compared the food store shops with unknown type of the Japanese stores of Genki Desu which is somewhat unfair.
The author said that the Japanese stores of Genki Desu got huge profit due to his used of stimulating scent in the Shoppe Here author assumed that used of the scent will invigorate the shopper. This is can be one of the reason but not only this. in Genki Desu shop, customer can attract by structure of shop, display of shop, product quality, service provide by the shop, discount system, location of the shop. If it have the shop of general store having the product like goodies item, stationary, bed sheet, mobile recharge like that then more customer will be come to shop no need to use of any type of scent. Due to because that the Genki can also get huge profit, Due to because of undefined the shop type it is unfair that Genki got hug profit because of only scent used. If the Genki have the perfume or gift or garment shops then this trick is workable to lot of extends but not fully workable . It is possible that Customer will be come to store and spend more time as well as money. But other factor are also possible like that shop is present in the centre of city, having all type of variety ,having good service to customer like that .Only scent will increase the profit is baseless.
As the Edesia have the Food store then it is not suitable for it. Because food have its own odours which automatically invigorate the shopper. However we used the scent in the Food shops it may happened that original smell of food get mingle with scent which is unpleasant smell and it may possible that food be com damage .it true that scent attract the people but it not good for in food shops. By keeping more variety of product in more attractive way, provide good service, keep customer in shops more time and will possible spend more money. He also has considered the location of store and type and quality of product. Because if both stores are in different location then different people have various choice, which also one of factor which should have to consider by author.
Thus business manager should have consider the type of Genki store before say like that attract more customer and make the customer spend more time and money at our store we should also use aromatic stimulants in the store. Because of this assuming that want huge profit used scent is somewhat irrelevant for food shop as explain above.
Sentence: This is can be one of the reason but not only this. in Genki Desu shop, customer can attract by structure of shop, display of shop, product quality, service provide by the shop, discount system, location of the shop.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and can
Sentence: However we used the scent in the Food shops it may happened that original smell of food get mingle with scent which is unpleasant smell and it may possible that food be com damage .it true that scent attract the people but it not good for in food shops.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and happened
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to may and possible
Description: The fragment scent attract the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace attract with verb, past tense
Sentence: By keeping more variety of product in more attractive way, provide good service, keep customer in shops more time and will possible spend more money.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to will and possible
Sentence: Thus business manager should have consider the type of Genki store before say like that attract more customer and make the customer spend more time and money at our store we should also use aromatic stimulants in the store.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and consider
Description: The fragment that attract more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace attract with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: The fragment customer spend more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Because of this assuming that want huge profit used scent is somewhat irrelevant for food shop as explain above.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a WH-pronoun, nominative
Suggestion: Refer to assuming and that
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to as and explain
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2120 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.511 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.139 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.647 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.443 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5