You are hereClaim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.


sheepfei199184's picture

By sheepfei199184 - Posted on 15 March 2012

Asurely,the degree of cities prosperity is a mirror of a country's modernization level which development need the support of money.consequently,i agree the speaker's broad assertion that governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.however, as for the claim's reason----ensure the financial for tcities because they are a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated, i have three demurrals as follows:

First, there is a basic question:is it the the government necessary duty to contribute money on the convential culture preservation?in civil,there are lots of organizations or individuals who use themselves' money supporting the advance of traditional culture. For instance, locating in the New York, the Carnegie Hall,was built in 1891 and invested by U.S. steel magnate and philanthropist----Andrew Carnegie. it offered a place for a great number of classical music to perform ,such as From the New World , An American in Paris and so on.in addition,another example is about the Chinese contemporary dancer named LipingYang, who spent herself money to organize a large-scale ethnic dance drama---《Dynamic Yunnan》,which thoroughly consists the ethial dance of Yunnan and exhibiting vividly the splendid and distinct dance to the public .in a word,even if in different time or contries,it never lack of beneficent persons to support the development of the traditional culture.thus,it's not necessary for government to contribute fund on the conservation of it.

In additon, i don't think cities are the places to generate and conserve the culture traditions of the nation. Cities,as enormous stew pots,consist various culture from every cormor of the world. They can represent as a window to exhibit a nation's cultural traditons rathre than conserve them,for these traditons might be subject to the impact or melt by variety of cultrue at any moment. On the contrary,countrysides and small town can be regarded as a greenhouse for culture's traditions generation and conservation. It's easily to see that in many countries' villages,there are still many traditonal customs and art inheriting hundreds even thousands years.taking a one of chinese traditional festial----Songkran for example, which is popular in some villages in China but would be seem so strange to image people splashing water against each other in a metropolis consisted lots of mansions.

Last but not the least,even if governments have the duty on conservation of culture traditons and, traditions surely exist in cities,who can promise the fund government provided would be used in preserving traditions rather than developing modernization which, in general, a field that major cities prefer to contribute the fund on so as to make them as leader goat to drive the economic advance of a nation,such as the development of traffic or indistry. So,the reason is not justifiable of governments must ensure their major cities receive the financial support becuse of conserve the culture traditons.Futhermore,who can promise conservation of culture tradition can merely depond on money. Probably, to conserve culture, a great number of people to inherit actively is also indispensable.

In sum,though government must ensure that major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive,but it's not ration to use the sstatement "a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated in major cities" for the reason. Because government don't have the duty to offer fund on culture traditions which weren't engendered or conserved at the same time. Moreover,though offerring the fund, on one can warrant it would used in conservation of traditions. Most essential,it's not enough to preserve traditons merely depond on money without other factors.

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Sentence: Asurely,the degree of cities prosperity is a mirror of a country's modernization level which development need the support of money.consequently,i agree the speaker's broad assertion that governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.however, as for the claim's reason----ensure the financial for tcities because they are a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated, i have three demurrals as follows:
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to cities and prosperity
Description: The fragment development need the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, past tense

Sentence: First, there is a basic question:is it the the government necessary duty to contribute money on the convential culture preservation?in civil,there are lots of organizations or individuals who use themselves' money supporting the advance of traditional culture.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the

Sentence: It's easily to see that in many countries' villages?there are still many traditonal customs and art inheriting hundreds even thousands years.taking a one of chinese traditional festial----Songkran for example, which is popular in some villages in China but would be seem so strange to image people splashing water against each other in a metropolis consisted lots of mansions.
Description: The fragment It's easily to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace easily with adjective
Description: The word still is not usually used as a qualifier, pre
Suggestion: Refer to still
Description: A nil is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to years.taking and a

Sentence: So,the reason is not justifiable of governments must ensure their major cities receive the financial support becuse of conserve the culture traditons.Futhermore,who can promise conservation of culture tradition can merely depond on money.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and conserve

Sentence: Moreover,though offerring the fund, on one can warrant it would used in conservation of traditions.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to would and used

Sentence: Asurely,the degree of cities prosperity is a mirror of a country's modernization level which development need the support of money.consequently,i agree the speaker's broad assertion that governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.however, as for the claim's reason----ensure the financial for tcities because they are a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated, i have three demurrals as follows:
Error: money.consequently Suggestion: money consequently
Error: thrive.however Suggestion: thrive however
Error: modernization Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: ---- Suggestion: an
Error: tcities Suggestion: cities
Sentence: First, there is a basic question:is it the the government necessary duty to contribute money on the convential culture preservation?in civil,there are lots of organizations or individuals who use themselves' money supporting the advance of traditional culture.
Error: convential Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For instance, locating in the New York, the Carnegie Hall,was built in 1891 and invested by U.S. steel magnate and philanthropist----Andrew Carnegie. it offered a place for a great number of classical music to perform ,such as From the New World , An American in Paris and so on.in addition,another example is about the Chinese contemporary dancer named LipingYang, who spent herself money to organize a large-scale ethnic dance drama---Dynamic Yunnan,which thoroughly consists the ethial dance of
Error: on.in Suggestion: one
Error: --- Suggestion: an
Error: ---- Suggestion: an
Error: magnate Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: ethial Suggestion: ethical
Error: large-scale Suggestion: large scale
Error: philanthropist Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Yunnan and exhibiting vividly the splendid and distinct dance to the public .in a word,even if in different time or contries,it never lack of beneficent persons to support the development of the traditional culture.thus,it's not necessary for government to contribute fund on the conservation of it.
Error: culture.thus Suggestion: culture thus
Error: contries Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In additon, i don't think cities are the places to generate and conserve the culture traditions of the nation.
Error: additon Suggestion: addition
Sentence: Cities,as enormous stew pots,consist various culture from every cormor of the world.
Error: cormor Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: They can represent as a window to exhibit a nation's cultural traditons rathre than conserve them,for these traditons might be subject to the impact or melt by variety of cultrue at any moment.
Error: cultrue Suggestion: culture
Error: rathre Suggestion: rather
Error: traditons Suggestion: traditions
Sentence: On the contrary,countrysides and small town can be regarded as a greenhouse for culture's traditions generation and conservation.
No spelling errors
Sentence: It's easily to see that in many countries' villages?there are still many traditonal customs and art inheriting hundreds even thousands years.taking a one of chinese traditional festial----Songkran for example, which is popular in some villages in China but would be seem so strange to image people splashing water against each other in a metropolis consisted lots of mansions.
Error: traditonal Suggestion: traditional
Error: ---- Suggestion: an
Error: years.taking Suggestion: years taking
Error: festial Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: chinese Suggestion: chins
Sentence: Last but not the least,even if governments have the duty on conservation of culture traditons and, traditions surely exist in cities,who can promise the fund government provided would be used in preserving traditions rather than developing modernization which, in general, a field that major cities prefer to contribute the fund on so as to make them as leader goat to drive the economic advance of a nation,such as the development of traffic or indistry.
Error: modernization Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: traditons Suggestion: traditions
Error: indistry Suggestion: industry
Sentence: So,the reason is not justifiable of governments must ensure their major cities receive the financial support becuse of conserve the culture traditons.Futhermore,who can promise conservation of culture tradition can merely depond on money.
Error: traditons Suggestion: traditions
Error: becuse Suggestion: because
Error: depond Suggestion: depend
Sentence: Probably, to conserve culture, a great number of people to inherit actively is also indispensable.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In sum,though government must ensure that major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive,but it's not ration to use the sstatement 'a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated in major cities' for the reason.
Error: sstatement Suggestion: statement
Sentence: Because government don't have the duty to offer fund on culture traditions which weren't engendered or conserved at the same time.
Error: weren Suggestion: were
Sentence: Moreover,though offerring the fund, on one can warrant it would used in conservation of traditions.
Error: offerring Suggestion: offering
Sentence: Most essential,it's not enough to preserve traditons merely depond on money without other factors.
Error: traditons Suggestion: traditions
Error: depond Suggestion: depend

You have a lot of grammar or spelling errors. Be careful the format of punctuation!and
try to control the words in 350.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 16 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 29 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 612 350
No. of Characters: 3145 1500
No. of Different Words: 285 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.974 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.139 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.949 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 242 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 190 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 133 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 94 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.626 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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