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Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.


mapleleafdream's picture

By mapleleafdream - Posted on 14 July 2012

Essay topic: 

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

The speaker claims that educational institutions have a responsibility to help students selecting a proper field of study, trying their best to find advantage and talent of students for their succeed on scientific research. In my opinion, however, the only responsibility of educational institutions is booming the academic research. In another word, college and university should focus on how to cultivate talents of academic, but not person who can make more money or salary.

It is said that educational institutions should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. But what means succeed? I believe that no body will say that succeed means making money or getting honor. People, who has different background and faith, pursuit different goal for all of their life. We cannot define a uniform standard for succeed. Should educational institutions dissuade students from some fields just for their own or some professors' criteria of success? It must be ridiculous.

Somebody will assert that achievements or breakthrough should be the basic norm of academic succeed. I am agree about it. Nonetheless, we also cannot define success. It is reasonable for us to do something for fun but not achievements. A scholar research in a field may just for his or her interesting. He or she might have no breakthrough in a field, but he or she have a happy life for studying in this field. The happiness, which fills whole life of a person, is real success.

Even assuming educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed, and all of us believes that achievements of breakthrough is the norm of success, how can we judge that whether a scholar will gain the success one day in the future? Something difficult may become easy in the future. A question, which seems impossible to answer, also have chance to be solved. Therefore, nobody can say that what will happened tomorrow. We cannot dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which we don't think they can be success.

In a conclusion, the responsibility of educational institutions is cultivating scholars in various kinds of field, but not making judgment to others. Professors can suggest their students for what is the best field of study for them or make some recommendations about study. The final alternate choice should be made by students themselves.

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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: We cannot define a uniform standard for succeed.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and succeed

Sentence: Somebody will assert that achievements or breakthrough should be the basic norm of academic succeed.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to academic and succeed

Sentence: Therefore, nobody can say that what will happened tomorrow.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and happened

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.04 21.0 (Still need to improve)

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 401 350
No. of Characters: 1996 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.475 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.978 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.946 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.04 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.375 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.44 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.27 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.456 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5