You are hereHospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been we

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been we


Akshay's picture

By Akshay - Posted on 06 October 2012

Essay topic: 

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The recommendation above states clearly that roller skater should invest in high quality equipments to reduce their risk for accident. But the statistics provided for that have some unaccepted assumptions. Though the accidents are injurious, author should clearly states the rezones and statistics regarding it.

Here, author states that hospital statistics regarding the people who go to the emergency room highly need the more protective equipments. But the ratio of statistics is not clearly stated. Author assumes that rate accident is extremely high. Rate of accidents is important statistics because if the rate is low then is it such a serious problem? No. If in a year five cases are came for emergency because of the roller skating accidents then it is not serious problem with equipment. What are other rezones of accidents is also important.

In statistics it is also not provided that all people who go to emergency room are roller skater. It can possible that opposite personality of the roller skater need to go in the emergency room because of the accident. If such people are also there then is it the problem with the equipment of the skater? Here again author assumes that 75 percents of the people who had accidents on the street or parking lots are because of the lack of equipments. It may be possible that roller skater is not well skilled still he or she tried directly on street or parking lot which is always injurious. First skaters should practice on the equipped skating ground and try on the street or parking lot with equipments.

The main assumption of author is that roller skater did not have the equipment and therefore didn't wear it while skating. If they have the equipment what is need to invest again on it? And if they still not wearing it then how can they reduce their risk of severely injured in an accidents? Therefore only investing on the high quality equipments is not sufficient to reduce the risk of accidents.

In summing up, author assumes some evidences of the accidents and clearly not states the statistics. Therefore without clearance of these assumptions it is unwarranted to clearly state that skaters should invest on high quality equipments.

Average: 5 (7 votes)
Tags
More essays by this user:
Looking for speaking partner/tutor/chat? Join the instant conversation now!
    
Something about you
Choose a nickname and enter at least one ID (Skype, MSN, QQ, ICQ or Yahoo) if you want to be listed!
Registered users only
Loading...
(145 users watching; 1 users on the list)
People online
Nickname Sex L Country Favorite topics Contact

“Public buildings reveal much about the attitudes and values of the society that builds them. Today’s new schools, courthouses, airports, and libraries, for example, reflect the attitudes and values of today’s society.” thakur.shikha1@...
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent swapneel
GMAT Issue Writing Sample 38 essayking
The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.“According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any prashantthawrani
Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years. Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership. Write a response in which you discuss the exten fiddo
We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own. shefali saxena
Argument Topic: The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:"The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. The sa parul
Argument:The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. sheepfei199184
Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain. pooh sticky icon
"As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate." Bhagirath93

Term
Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic. Oppon Vanan sticky icon GMAT/GRE
In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions darsh GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared in a memorandum from the planning department of an electric power company."Several recent surveys indicate that home owners are increasingly eager to conserve energy. At the same time, manufacturers are now marketing many home appli Vanan GMAT/GRE
Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real learning. - GRE Issue 119 six11 GMAT/GRE
Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. wasainika17 GMAT/GRE
Politicians should pursue common ground and reasonable consensus rather than elusive ideals.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In de ronxyz GMAT/GRE
scientific theories which most people consider as fact almost invariably prove to be inaccurate. Thus one shud look upon any information described as’factual’ with skepticism since it may well be proven false in the future.Write an essy in which u take a Vanan GMAT/GRE
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting arzoo GMAT/GRE
Television is entirely democratic in that its content is controlled by what the people want. angel GMAT/GRE
Argument(5): The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette:One Balmer island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of acc untermrad GMAT/GRE

Term
Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -Write a response in pras_agar GMAT/GRE Issue Task
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position sevasnex GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared in an editorial in a local newspaper."Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to w ftn GMAT/GRE Argument Task
In most professions and academic fields, imagination is more important than knowledge. mihir94 GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type o Sunyue GMAT/GRE Argument Task
In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes litt mihir94 GMAT/GRE Argument Task
3.The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from someone who is an expert in that field. Sunyue GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Governments should offer college and university education free of charge to all students sphoorthi sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Claim: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's major field of study.Reason: Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated. nukshah GMAT/GRE Issue Task

Governments should offer college and university education free of charge to all students sphoorthi sticky icon GMAT/GRE Issue Task
If everyone would closely examine their past, they would realize that only a few individuals have played a role in shaping their behaviour and their way of thinking. sevasnex GMAT/GRE Issue Task
In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type o Sunyue GMAT/GRE Argument Task
The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree nukshah GMAT/GRE Issue Task
Name a world leader you think is important and has made important contributions to the people of your nation. Give specific reasons for your choice. laxman.14.thaku... GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the execu Sunyue GMAT/GRE Argument Task
In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes litt mihir94 GMAT/GRE Argument Task
Museums should have the liberty to exhibit whatever displays they want without the interference of government censorship. sevasnex GMAT/GRE Issue Task
The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because i nukshah GMAT/GRE Argument Task
3.The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. siamakd GMAT/GRE Issue Task
essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: It can possible that opposite personality of the roller skater need to go in the emergency room because of the accident.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to can and possible

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Sentence Length SD: 5.295 7.5

Read this link to understand What is sentence length SD:
http://www.testbig.com/question/questions-about-essay-e-rater

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1802 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.857 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.596 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.295 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.