You are hereHospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been we

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been we


Akshay's picture

By Akshay - Posted on 06 October 2012

Essay topic: 

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The recommendation above states clearly that roller skater should invest in high quality equipments to reduce their risk for accident. But the statistics provided for that have some unaccepted assumptions. Though the accidents are injurious, author should clearly states the rezones and statistics regarding it.

Here, author states that hospital statistics regarding the people who go to the emergency room highly need the more protective equipments. But the ratio of statistics is not clearly stated. Author assumes that rate accident is extremely high. Rate of accidents is important statistics because if the rate is low then is it such a serious problem? No. If in a year five cases are came for emergency because of the roller skating accidents then it is not serious problem with equipment. What are other rezones of accidents is also important.

In statistics it is also not provided that all people who go to emergency room are roller skater. It can possible that opposite personality of the roller skater need to go in the emergency room because of the accident. If such people are also there then is it the problem with the equipment of the skater? Here again author assumes that 75 percents of the people who had accidents on the street or parking lots are because of the lack of equipments. It may be possible that roller skater is not well skilled still he or she tried directly on street or parking lot which is always injurious. First skaters should practice on the equipped skating ground and try on the street or parking lot with equipments.

The main assumption of author is that roller skater did not have the equipment and therefore didn't wear it while skating. If they have the equipment what is need to invest again on it? And if they still not wearing it then how can they reduce their risk of severely injured in an accidents? Therefore only investing on the high quality equipments is not sufficient to reduce the risk of accidents.

In summing up, author assumes some evidences of the accidents and clearly not states the statistics. Therefore without clearance of these assumptions it is unwarranted to clearly state that skaters should invest on high quality equipments.

Average: 5.3 (6 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: It can possible that opposite personality of the roller skater need to go in the emergency room because of the accident.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to can and possible

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Sentence Length SD: 5.295 7.5

Read this link to understand What is sentence length SD:
http://www.testbig.com/question/questions-about-essay-e-rater

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1802 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.857 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.596 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.295 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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