A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
At first glance,the argument that the birth orders of monkeys effect the levels of stimulation for each individuals seems to make sense. And the author tried to strength the claim by mentioning the similar phenomenon occurred in human beings. However, the study solely replied on unproven assumption, was absence of crucial information and lack of convincing evidence.
First, the argument made the attempt to reinforce the argument stating that the case applied in the human beings. Yet it does nothing to explain that the relationship exist between the characteristics of monkeys and human beings. Although monkeys are considered to be close to the mankinds in terms of physical features and activities, it can be arugued that the tested huamns coincidently matched the phenomena and it is impetuous to directly apply the cases in monkey into human beings, given the fact that it has been shown that there many major disparities between the humans and monkeys.
Second, the study is solely based on the sample of eighteen monkeys, which is lack of representative. There is a possibility that the eighteen monkeys coincidently reflected the results the author conducted. Reaching the conclusion on the basis of sample data will lead to fallacious, or at least inaccurate, results.
Third, the claim stated that firstborn monkeys produce high levels of hormone in stimulating circumstances, whereas it omitted the explicit number of monkeys showing such phenomena, which ignored the possibility of coincidence and so is not convincing.
Finally, the argument as a whole is lacking of enviromental factors that might be influential to the experiment,climate change, capricious temperature and places where the monkey live, to name a few. All of which play important roles in scentific researches and experiments and so is categoricall to be considered. So from a reader's standpoint, the study need to filled in the gaps and present more convincing evidence.
Sentence: At first glance,the argument that the birth orders of monkeys effect the levels of stimulation for each individuals seems to make sense.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and individuals
Sentence: Yet it does nothing to explain that the relationship exist between the characteristics of monkeys and human beings.
Description: The fragment relationship exist between is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace exist with verb, past participle
Sentence: So from a reader's standpoint, the study need to filled in the gaps and present more convincing evidence.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and filled
Sentence: Although monkeys are considered to be close to the mankinds in terms of physical features and activities, it can be arugued that the tested huamns coincidently matched the phenomena and it is impetuous to directly apply the cases in monkey into human beings, given the fact that it has been shown that there many major disparities between the humans and monkeys.
Error: coincidently Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: arugued Suggestion: argued
Sentence: There is a possibility that the eighteen monkeys coincidently reflected the results the author conducted.
Error: coincidently Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, the argument as a whole is lacking of enviromental factors that might be influential to the experiment,climate change, capricious temperature and places where the monkey live, to name a few.
Error: enviromental Suggestion: environmental
Sentence: All of which play important roles in scentific researches and experiments and so is categoricall to be considered.
Error: scentific Suggestion: scientific
Error: categoricall Suggestion: categorical
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1614 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.19 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.898 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.363 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.628 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5