Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, l

Essay topics:

Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.

The author of the argument claims that the obesity rate in the Benton city will soon be below the national average because of the healthier eating habits of the Benton city residents. To support this claim he cited various evidences. Although this evidences appear to bolster the author's argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So the author needs to cite the various evidences to make the argument more sound :
Firstly, the author said that the eating habits changed from the last 10 years but he didn't mentioned what were the eating habits at that time. Maybe they used to eat other things that deteriorate their health. So there might be no co-relation between the product author mentioned and the health. The effect of other substances on the health is also not mentioned in the argument. A person doesn't eat only a single thing in his daily routine but a variety of other eatables too. The effect of climatic conditions on the health is also not stated. Weather conditions also doesn't remain same in 10 years, maybe the weather was unfavourable at that time. Weather can also be the reason for their health deterioration at that time.
Secondly, the author claims that good health deterioration now-a-days is due to the four-fold increase in the Kiran substance in the product which ultimately decreases the cholestrol level but the proper data regarding the effect of Kiran or Sulia isn't stated. Their is no proper stastistical data regarding the effect of this product on the health. It is also possible that this effects might be a short term. Depending on the result of the statistics, the author's argument can be bolstered on enervated. Proper valid prrofs are required to bolster this claim. Salubrious health can also be due to the other healthier products that came up in the market like fruits, vegetables that nullify the effects harmful effects and make good health possible.
Last but not least, the author claims that the good health become possible due to the healthy eating habits only but there might be other reasons too like people started exercising daily, lifestyle might be improved, physical work by them increased etc.
In sum, the author needs to provide more specific evidences to show that good health is due to the improvement in the eating habits only or due to the substance named Kiran only. Without these specific evidences, the author's claim that the obesity rate will soon decrease loses it's conviction.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 281, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...gh this evidences appear to bolster the authors argument, a meticulous analysis will sh...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 425, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dences to make the argument more sound : Firstly, the author said that the eating...
^^^
Line 3, column 87, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...s changed from the last 10 years but he didnt mentioned what were the eating habits a...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 391, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...not mentioned in the argument. A person doesnt eat only a single thing in his daily ro...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...lso not stated. Weather conditions also doesnt remain same in 10 years, maybe the weat...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 250, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... regarding the effect of Kiran or Sulia isnt stated. Their is no proper stastistical...
^^^^
Line 4, column 262, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
...e effect of Kiran or Sulia isnt stated. Their is no proper stastistical data regardin...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 459, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ng on the result of the statistics, the authors argument can be bolstered on enervated....
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 254, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed, physical work by them increased etc. In sum, the author needs to provide more...
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Line 6, column 272, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that the obesity rate will soon decrease loses its conviction.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 33.0505617978 88% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2049.0 2235.4752809 92% => OK
No of words: 412.0 442.535393258 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97330097087 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49375160853 2.79657885939 89% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45145631068 0.4932671777 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 623.7 704.065955056 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.740449438202 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.9476117839 60.3974514979 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.45 118.986275619 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0791895947647 0.243740707755 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0256448800387 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477859193539 0.0758088955206 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0518540768595 0.150359130593 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0407958679082 0.0667264976115 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.1392134831 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.1639044944 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.