The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government,
industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
By and large, it is established beyond doubt that leaders are essential for a society to become prosperous. leaders would bring people from different background together and lead them to achieve their common goal. Thus, for a society, it is of paramount importance to train skillful and effective leaders. In this regard, there has been no shortage of debates among scholars on whether it is more important to have an attitude of competition or cooperation. Actually, as we all know, competitiveness is a must for a leader to arise and fight for his/ her goal. but, I think having the ability of efficient cooperation with diverse people would have much greater effects on becoming a successful leader. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most crucial reasons to substantiate my stance.
one of the reasons coming to mind at first is that as it was mentioned above, people need to compete to others to improve their position and have the motives for trying hard to become better than other. but, it should be considered that every person will be born with an inherent sense of competition, some more or less. On the other hand, a high level of competition will deteriorate people. because it brings an excess amount of stress and concern to always be the winner and the best. Therefore, if the government emphasizes on competition in people, not only will they not be successful leaders, but it also would be harmful to themselves and sometimes others. too much sense of competition will bring a sense of jealousy in people and make them aggressive and revengers. By way of illustration, we can refer to Hitler as a leader with a high level of competition who wanted the whole world to be under his control and this sense made him kill many people to achieve his goal and become dominant on the whole world. Were he a leader with an attitude of cooperation, he would not do such a miserable action and he would also become a great leader. this example demonstrates my point about the superiority of cooperation to competition in importance to become an effective leader.
The other equally compelling reason to corroborate my opinion is that although being a competitive leader may be paid more attention in the history, but cooperative leaders are more beloved and cherished by people because they have been successful to manage a group of various people without applying any force or harsh behavior on people. they can keep people in an integrated group by cooperation. I do not ignore the essence of competition but in my mind, the concentration of training great leaders should be on cooperation, as it is an adventitious attitude and needs to be learned during people’s lives. In this case, I can example Mark Zuckerberg, who came up with the idea of Facebook due to his sense of competition and his idea become a successful one because of his ability to cooperate with others. he could not continue his way alone and he needs other people to help him in this way and some others to believe his idea as a great one that can change our society. without the ability to cooperate with others, people would be some dogmatic leaders who stick to their opinions and do not let a way for their idea to improve by others’ creative opinions.
In short, all of the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that a favorable leader should have both sense of competition to start, and cooperation to continue his way toward success. Since competition is an attitude which is inherent and too much amount of it will hurt, as mentioned above, cooperation should be the focus of government for breeding great leaders. By doing so, benefiting effective leaders which results in a prosperous society would not be far-fetched.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Leaders
...ial for a society to become prosperous. leaders would bring people from different backg...
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Suggestion: But
...r to arise and fight for his/ her goal. but, I think having the ability of efficien...
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Suggestion: One
...l reasons to substantiate my stance. one of the reasons coming to mind at first ...
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Suggestion: But
...rying hard to become better than other. but, it should be considered that every per...
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Suggestion: Because
...of competition will deteriorate people. because it brings an excess amount of stress an...
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Suggestion: Too
...ful to themselves and sometimes others. too much sense of competition will bring a ...
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...nd he would also become a great leader. this example demonstrates my point about the...
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Suggestion: They
... any force or harsh behavior on people. they can keep people in an integrated group ...
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Suggestion: He
...f his ability to cooperate with others. he could not continue his way alone and he...
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Suggestion: Without
... great one that can change our society. without the ability to cooperate with others, p...
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Suggestion:
...rove by others' creative opinions. In short, all of the aforementioned reas...
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Suggestion: all the
...apos; creative opinions. In short, all of the aforementioned reasons lead us to the c...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, may, so, therefore, thus, i think, in short, by and large, more or less, on the whole, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.5258426966 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.4196629213 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 27.0 14.8657303371 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 33.0505617978 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 103.0 58.6224719101 176% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 12.9106741573 217% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3112.0 2235.4752809 139% => OK
No of words: 643.0 442.535393258 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83981337481 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.03561760524 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84827096835 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 215.323595506 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433903576983 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1000.8 704.065955056 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.38483146067 228% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.5685114324 60.3974514979 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.48 118.986275619 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.72 23.4991977007 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44 5.21951772744 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16933011977 0.243740707755 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0582605298768 0.0831039109588 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0407679798337 0.0758088955206 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119224331451 0.150359130593 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0265019463134 0.0667264976115 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.1639044944 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.