Sports stars and movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position
The statement argues that movie stars and sports stars should set a good example, or act as a role model for young people who look up to them. The statement claims that because they are paid millions of dollars, they should be expected to fulfil this societal responsibility. First and foremost, it is important to define what constitutes a "role model" in the context of this passage. It will be assumed for this essay that a "role model" is one that does not engage in behaviours that are generally and morally accepted as "wrong". These behaviours may include the use of hard drugs, promiscuity, a...
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Sentence: The statement claims that because they are paid millions of dollars, they should be expected to fulfil this societal responsibility.
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill
Sentence: The gradual invisibility of these negative behaviours from the lives of pop culture icons could, in fact, have a negative influence on those afflicted with mental ilnesses such as addiction, depression, and bulimia.
Error: ilnesses Suggestion: illnesses
Sentence: Seeing the lives of pop culture icons be free from negativities those with mental ilnesses deal with on a daily bases could fuel their self perception of something being wrong with them.
Error: ilnesses Suggestion: illnesses
Sentence: Though there are arguements as to why movie stars and sports stars should not be obligated to act as role models, as explored above, the arguement made by the statement would have more of a positive effect than a negative effect on society and younger members of it.
Error: arguements Suggestion: arguments
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
flaws:
No. of Words: 756 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 756 350
No. of Characters: 3700 1500
No. of Different Words: 282 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.244 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.583 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 263 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 190 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 129 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 87 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.138 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5