Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Should the young people be encouraged to pursue long term and realistic goals?Or they should be encouraged to seek immediate fame and recognition?The ultimate goal is to live a better life and return the service to society who helped to become a good human being.However, many people cannot able to handle the immediate fame and recognition.Therefore, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term and realistic goals because of the reasons which are mentioned below:
First of all, not everyone is capable enough to handle the immediate recoginition and fame as it needs immense hardwork and experience.It needs a deep sense of maturity, which comes with experience, to handle stardom.People in young age are vulnerable and can be influenced by dark side of the fame.For instance,Justin Bieber, who won hearts of millions through his first music album, fails to handle his success at young age.Thereafter, his name consistently comes in the news for one or the other bad reasons; eventually lost his respect and fan following among his audience.Usually, these types of cases happen when people easily get recoginition without working hard for it.People who earn their position, love and respect are actually deserve the fame;thereby much more capable of handling it.Therefore, society should encourge young people to work hard for their long term goals rather to get success instantly.
Furthermore, young people should be taught the difference between realistic and unrealistic goals.For example, a person right from his childhood wants to become an actor only because he like the way actors seems to be on television.He could be misleaded if he was not told both positive and negative sides of the profession.He should be told that he might not be able to meet his family friends for months due to tight shooting schedule.He should to be told that he might have to do actions that he would never wonted to do. In other words, he should be encouraged to have complete information about the profession , so that he can make better and realistic decision.Having this knowledge young people can be able to handle fame at any point of life.
In conclusion, fame and recognition are good ways to enjoy the success but immediate fame without much effort results in negative impact on the young people. Therefore, they should be taught to pursue long term goals which are realistic too.
Sentence: First of all, not everyone is capable enough to handle the immediate recoginition and fame as it needs immense hardwork and experience.It needs a deep sense of maturity, which comes with experience, to handle stardom.People in young age are vulnerable and can be influenced by dark side of the fame.For instance,Justin Bieber, who won hearts of millions through his first music album, fails to handle his success at young age.Thereafter, his name consistently comes in the news for one or the other
Error: hardwork Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: recoginition Suggestion: recognition
Sentence: bad reasons; eventually lost his respect and fan following among his audience.Usually, these types of cases happen when people easily get recoginition without working hard for it.People who earn their position, love and respect are actually deserve the fame;thereby much more capable of handling it.Therefore, society should encourge young people to work hard for their long term goals rather to get success instantly.
Error: recoginition Suggestion: recognition
Error: encourge Suggestion: encourage
Sentence: Furthermore, young people should be taught the difference between realistic and unrealistic goals.For example, a person right from his childhood wants to become an actor only because he like the way actors seems to be on television.He could be misleaded if he was not told both positive and negative sides of the profession.He should be told that he might not be able to meet his family friends for months due to tight shooting schedule.He should to be told that he might have to do actions that he
Error: misleaded Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 415 while No. of Different Words: 209
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1989 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.793 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.469 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 46.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 34.187 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5