The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how thw price of chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.
These diagrams show the illustration of chocolate-producing process in some ways and the percentage of allocation which taken from the price of chocolate bar.
The first picture shows the chocolate-producing process by the grinding of the cocoa beans. This grinding can produce two results which are waste product and cocoa liquor. The liquor can be used in two ways. One way is by pressing into cocoa powder and continue to sell to food industry. The other way is by pressing into cocoa butter same as liquor to produce the industrial chocolate. On that step there was combined with sugar and other sources to make chocolate bar.
The second chart shows the percentage of money allocation from the chocolate bar. This allocation taken the percentage from the price of bar. This chart shows that the farmer as a producer of cocoa bean gets the lowest money with receives just 4% of the price. On the contrary, the cost of ingredients and production has the highest percentage with 37% of all. It followed by supermarket which receive 34% from the price, after that is government by 15% from the tax which they had got. The last is chocolate company with 10% of chocolate price.
This diagrams shows that many long steps in production process can cause the highest percentage of money allocation which taken from the price of chocolate bar in the market.
Sentence: These diagrams show the illustration of chocolate-producing process in some ways and the percentage of allocation which taken from the price of chocolate bar.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to which and taken
Sentence: This chart shows that the farmer as a producer of cocoa bean gets the lowest money with receives just 4 of the price.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to with and receives
Sentence: This diagrams shows that many long steps in production process can cause the highest percentage of money allocation which taken from the price of chocolate bar in the market.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and diagrams
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to which and taken
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 231 200
No. of Characters: 1099 1000
No. of Different Words: 105 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.899 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.758 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.754 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 60 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 51 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.913 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.214 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4