As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (re-write)
In recent years, we hear a lot about globalization and its effects. Globalization means people around the world do the same thing ,eat the same food, wear the same dress, listen to same music. In current economic world, old boundaries between countries lose their meanings.
I agree with this idea that globalization has bad effect on our culture. In fact, globalization eventually change our life style. Every nation has especially culture, foods, festivals and so on, but all of this term might lose their especially meanings. For example globalization has effect on the music that we are listening. In my country Iran, for many centuries we had especial kind of music and musical instruments such as the Tar, the Tonbak, the Daf. Today this kind of music called traditional music, and it does not as popular as the past. Consequently, most of the young people prefer listen to other kind of music such as pop music, rap music instead of traditional music.
Every country has especial festival. For example western countries have a especial day that called the Valentine's Day. Today, we can see people who live around the world celebrate this day. In fact it does not bad at all until people forget their local events and especial days. This samples are true about foods we eat, the clothes we wear, even language that we are speaking.
To conclude, I think we must aware of drawback of globalization. We should know if we lose our culture, we will forget our history, our past generation that lived in our country. We should find the way to keep our culture.
Sentence: Every nation has especially culture, foods, festivals and so on, but all of this term might lose their especially meanings.
Description: The fragment has especially culture is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace especially with adjective
Description: The fragment their especially meanings is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace especially with adjective
Correct: Every nation has especial culture, foods, festivals and so on, but all of this term might lose their especial meanings.
Sentence: This samples are true about foods we eat, the clothes we wear, even language that we are speaking.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and samples
Correct: These samples are true about foods we eat, the clothes we wear, even language that we are speaking.
flaws:
No. of Words: 269 350
No. of Characters: 1252 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.369 7.5
It is better.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 269 350
No. of Characters: 1252 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.05 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.654 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.529 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 75 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.369 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.202 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5