The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is accepted that woman position in community has much modified in past two decades that persuade woman to have a career. But, I believe that a lot of inappropriate behaviors among children impacted by a lot of mothers go to work and leave their children.
Before 1980’s, traditional perception made a restriction for woman to get certain roles. The parents argued that their daughter have to marry as soon as possible when she is already 17 years old. After getting married, a woman should not abandon their family. But, it because a history now since a lot of opportunities for woman to pursue their dream. Recently, gender transformation keep going on education and occupation became a center of interest. A large number of married woman reach the top of their ideal as a leader some organizations. In other hands, a level of position demand a high frequency of traveling for woman hence caused decreasing of time for family. A lot of agendas of meeting and visiting the company require the mother to leave home and children. It can be worst when the father did the same.
Uncared parents contribute to youth problem in development like juvenile delinquency. One example is inappropriate drug using. In the school a lot of students found using a relaxant. It happened because they need a supported situation to manage their stress. This projective attitude impacted by no sharing partner among family members.
Regarding the phenomenon above, it is important for parent especially mother to manage their time both for working and monitoring the children equally both of mother and father. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for ignoring transformation in woman roles. But, I believe that mother has a significant role in children development and quality of family.
Sentence: Recently, gender transformation keep going on education and occupation became a center of interest.
Description: The fragment transformation keep going is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace keep with verb, past tense
Sentence: A large number of married woman reach the top of their ideal as a leader some organizations.
Description: The fragment woman reach the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace reach with verb, past tense
Sentence: In other hands, a level of position demand a high frequency of traveling for woman hence caused decreasing of time for family.
Description: The fragment position demand a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace demand with verb, past tense
Sentence: A lot of agendas of meeting and visiting the company require the mother to leave home and children.
Description: The fragment company require the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace require with verb, past tense
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.567 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.022 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2 (same grammar issues)
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1456 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.952 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.827 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.567 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.316 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.452 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.022 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5