Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman’s place is in the home, while others say that idea is outdated and that women should play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future. What is your opinion?
In the past, women must stay at home and be a good wife and mother take care of children, cooking, cleaning and be a housewife. In the past century woman's roles has changed. Today woman known as a good workforce.
Woman's role in society whether stay at home or work has some advantage and disadvantage. every society is included men and women, we can't ignore half of people in society because of gender. We must look at a woman as a human, she has as abilities as a man. She can go school take an education and finally become ready for be a workforce. Today we see a lot of succeed women in jobs, art, politic, sports around the world. If we want have a modern country, we should use women as workforce.
On other hand, while a woman spend time outside of her home, she lost her time that she must be at home as a mother. When a woman has a child, she has a full time job as mother. She has responsible for raising her child, prepare everything for her baby. She can't forget this duty. When she has a job outside home, she had to find somebody else to take care of her baby. Some children that their parent work are weird. They lost full time attention of their mother and it doesn't good at all.
To sum up, I agree to this opinion that women must has more significant role in society, but women have some natural responsibility. They should make a balance between home working and working outside.
Comments
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Today woman is considered as a good work force.
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Sentence: She can go school take an education and finally become ready for be a workforce.
Description: The fragment school take an is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace take with verb, past tense
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to for and be
Sentence: If we want have a modern country, we should use women as workforce.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to want and have
Sentence: On other hand, while a woman spend time outside of her home, she lost her time that she must be at home as a mother.
Description: The fragment woman spend time is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Different Words: 137 200
More words, higher marks.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1104 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.166 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.215 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 44 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.244 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.294 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.211 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5