You are hereSome people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.


Nur Shabrina's picture

By Nur Shabrina - Posted on 04 December 2013

Essay topic: 

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

It is undeniable that children need lesson about competition to compete with their peers. While this issue could be accepted, children also should learn about cooperate to have sense of social. In my opinion, I would suggest that both of them should be encouraged by the children’s parents.

Nowadays, people more compete about anything even with their friends, because the opportunity given to them less than competitors who fight against them. In business, competition soul is particularly needed by businessmen to develop their business larger than their competitors. Not only in business or work field the sense of competition is needed, but also in school, college, and every single sector in this world. In school for example, children should be encouraged to compete with their peers if they want to be number one student. They also need competition soul to reach their goal, because competition is the fair way to determine who is the best among the others. The simplest example, when they do examination, they should compete for getting the highest score. That is why children should be taught sense of competition earlier for their future.

On the other hand, children should understand about cooperation skill to make them have sense of humanity. In this universe, cooperation skill is also needed to help other people deal with their difficulties, because as a human it is their obligation to help each other. In the business world, people more likely to cooperate with their partners instead of compete them, because with good cooperation, the company would more easy to obtain its success. Besides that, people with good cooperation skill usually have good social relation with their colleagues and the people around them. So, cooperation skill should be taught to the children to grow sense of humanity in their soul. In the school, the children also need cooperation when they are in a team, because organized team would bring satisfying result.

Children who are taught competition lesson would be hard worker when they were adult because they have strong spirit, high optimism, they follow their passion to reach their purpose. To make them become more useful adults, they should learn about cooperation too, because it would make them easier to build relationship with other people and their sense of humanity would increase.

In conclusion, I suggest that both of competition and cooperation skill should be taught to the children to lead them become more useful adults.

Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

because the opportunity given to them less than competitors
because the opportunity given to them is less than competitors

flaws:
Need to remove duplicate words:
No. of Words: 404 while No. of Different Words: 170

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 2037 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.042 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.494 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.379 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5