In some rich countries the number of children at secondary or high school who are taking science subjects in declining What effect might this have on the children s and their countries futures How can children be encouraged to study science

Submitted by vicky123 on Fri, 08/02/2013 - 03:13

They say that countries’ growth is marked by its scientific innovation. Rich countries having grown because of the industrialization and scientific advancement of the past are now encumbered by the loss of interest in science by the children of their country.

This is hugely detrimental to their growth in every sphere of life. On the children there could be an impact later on, when they are pursuing job opportunities, as many position will not be fillable by them. With less population tending towards science, there is a stemming problem of depending on the graduates from the rest of the ...

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Votes
Average: 7.3 (8 votes)
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IELTS

Sentence: Rich countries having grown because of the industrialization and scientific advancement of the past are now encumbered by the loss of interest in science by the children of their country.
Suggestion: Rich countries have grown because the industrialization and scientific advancement of the past are now encumbered by the loss of interest in science by the children of their country.

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.748 7.5
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5

better to have 5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2156 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.787 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.35 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5